


Illusions of the Past

by BabyBoomBoom0029



Series: On Your Side: The Chronicles of Danny and Linda Reagan [29]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Love, Margaret's pregnant, Mystery, Naked Danny, Romance, Someone isn't who they say they are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 41,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyBoomBoom0029/pseuds/BabyBoomBoom0029
Summary: Danny Reagan had been through a lot of things in his life but what would happen to his family next was so unexpected he could have never imagined it. No one ever suspected what would happen when one of them finds out they aren't the person they thought they were. That their whole life up until this point was a lie. That they never were the person they once were. Will the family come together to protect this person or will this person start a new life far away from the drama unfolding? Will the Reagan family lose a family member because of their false past?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So we are starting this one right after the last one. :) So Linda still has to go through the reconstruction surgery, Margaret is about 7wks pregnant, and Lucy just had baby Caleb who is stuck in NICU for a few months before he can come home. :) I can't wait to see what you all think of this story. I'm excited to write it. This first chapter jumps right into the action. :)

Lieutenant Danny Reagan had finally returned to work. Linda's mastectomy had gone well and all tests were coming out negative. It looked like his wife had beaten the cancer that once threatened her life. He tried to stay home with Linda but found his constant presence hovering over her was making her feel worse. She'd admitted in a session with him and Dr. Bennett that she felt suffocated. She knew Danny was doing it out of love but she needed to have things get back to normal so she could move on and prepare herself for the reconstruction surgery that would take place in five more weeks. Danny had started to apologize when Linda cut him off saying she loved him for wanting to make sure she was okay. But it was okay if he went back to work during the day. She could make herself lunch and was comfortable to be walking around the house when no one was home. It bothered her that she didn't have breasts. Almost made her feel indecent or exposed. She hadn't come down from her room for a Sunday dinner since the surgery. Thankfully every member of the Reagan family was understanding and no one said a word about it. Linda was free to do things at her own pace when she felt she was ready.

Danny glanced at the calendar on the side of his computer. Their wedding anniversary was coming up quickly. Their thirtieth. Thirty-years of marriage with the love of his life. People would say she was lucky to have him but Danny never thought of it like that. He always thought of himself as the lucky one. Linda was always the better half. It was fate that brought them together so many years ago and hard work, luck, and love that kept them together. Even in the darkest of times. They stood by one another. Their marriage may have stumbled on the road but they never gave up on it. The late Henry Reagan always used to say that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Not to be scared of the days Danny and Linda would fight with each other, but to be scared of the days they stopped fighting. Be scared of the days they decided the fight was too hard. That a great marriage requires great effort.

Danny stared off into a picture of Linda sitting on his desk. The picture was a few years old but it was one of the many pictures Danny claimed was his favorite. It was a picture of Linda and Spense curled up in the rocking chair in the nursery. Spense couldn't have been more than six months old at the time. He was sound asleep in Linda's arms sucking on a pacifier. Linda had turned sideways in the chair pulling her feet up, curling her body into a protective ball. Spense's bottle lay on the floor where it must have slipped from Linda's hands. They were covered with Spense's yellow duck blanket he still dragged around the house. Linda had looked so peaceful, so beautiful in the light of the full moon, Danny snapped the picture on his phone while he checked on his children after coming home late from work. He recalled picking up Spense and putting him in his crib, then carrying his wife to their bed. She barely woke up as he held her close down the hallway. He remembered feeling bad that she must have been that exhausted. He'd made it up to her the following morning by waking her with a hot cup of coffee and a shared shower.

"Lieutenant." Danny was jarred from his thoughts as one of his officers knocked on his open door.

"Yeah Craig?" Danny responded.

"Finished up that paperwork you requested on the Munson case." Officer Craig O'Neil handed the file to Danny.

The Munson case was the latest Danny had on his plate. Davy Munson had robbed a bank in downtown Manhatten. Once he was apprehended he confessed to the crime saying it was the only way to pay for a life-saving surgery for his mother. Once the press got wind of the story, a fundraiser was held for Davy Munson's mother who received the surgery that would save her life. However, Davy would spend the next ten years behind bars for his crime. While even Commissioner Reagan felt bad for the family, the law was the law and Davy deserved the time he was sentenced to. Danny hoped that with the surgery she'd be able to see her son outside prison walls one day.

"Thanks." Danny took the folder. He started to flip through the file when he noticed Officer O'Neil still standing there, "Is there something you need?" Danny asked.

"Sir, I don't mean to pry. And I understand that while many members of your family are members of the force or work closely with us...Uh..." Craig tripped over his words.

"Spit it out." Danny grumbled. He'd heard almost every rumor imaginable about his family. Something must be going around for an officer to bring it up to him.

"Uh..It's about your daughter." The officer said gently.

"This is a rumor involving a minor child?" Danny's head snapped up as rage filled him. How dare anyone talk about his young children. Grace was almost twelve years old and Faith was only ten but neither girl was old enough to have rumors spread around by grown adults, let alone members of the NYPD.

"No Sir. No, not the kids." The officer shook his head, "Your daughter-in-law. Kathleen. Detective Reagan's wife."

"What about her?" Danny asked his rage only subsiding a fraction when hearing it was at least about one of his adult children.

"Her father. He's a Massachusets State Police Officer. Correct?" Craig asked Danny.

"Was he injured or involved in a shooting?" Danny asked wondering what was going on and if Kathleen's father was alright.

"Sir, Officer Scott Artuso and his wife Janet Artuso were arrested this morning." Craig informed Danny.

"What? How did you find this out?" Danny was astounded to hear about Kathleen's parents.

"Massachusets State Police requested information on Kathleen such as her phone number, name, and address. They are looking for her. When I saw her name flagged in the system I checked in to it." Craig explained, "Sir, they are being charged with kidnapping, child endangerment, neglect, assault, and murder. It's a pretty long list and it looks like there's more to be added. According to the report, three of their daughters, Ashley, Christy, and Lillian, failed to report to school for about a week. They sent truancy officers who found no one home. They tried to contact Officer Artuso but he hadn't reported to work since the girls went missing. The wife went missing too. They contacted a few of the older sisters who reported they have no idea where their parents are. Then they found Ashley. She was on the side of the road in a ditch. She was dead. They tracked Officer Artuso and his wife, and located the bodies of Christy and Lillian in their possession. After talking with one of their daughter's, Hannah, this morning, they found out that Officer Artuso and Janet had adopted Ashley, Christy, and Lillian about a year ago. However, when the medical examiner ran a standard spectrum of tests they realized the three girls weren't related. Not even the same father or mother. So they assumed they were adopted from different families. But it did pop with three kidnapping cases from about a year ago where the girls DNA was in the system. It's looking like they kidnapped the three girls a year ago and something happened, they tried to run but got caught. Mass. state PD is looking for all their children in an effort to get as much information as possible. They tested Hannah's DNA, seeing as how the three victims popped up as kidnapped and she'd not their child. They are running her DNA through missing person reports hoping to get a hit on who she really is. I've heard that none of the girls are their biologically. That they've been doing this for years but that's unconfirmed speculation at this point. What they know is that somehow Officer and Mrs. Artuso killed three children who they claim to have adopted but they can't find any adoption paperwork and the girls went missing from their real families a year ago, when the Artuso's said they adopted the girls." Craig told Danny everything he'd found out.

"Get a security detail on Kathleen Reagan. She is not to know why she has a detail unit until I speak with Detective Reagan and the Commissioner." Danny stood from his chair, "Actually get Detective Reagan to the Commissioner's office now. We need to figure this out before we let Mass. PD talk to Kathleen." Danny said sternly.

"Yes, Sir. Would you like us to bring Kathleen in?" Craig asked.

"Bring her to One-PP." Danny replied. He walked out of his office heading for his father's office.

This was not only a police matter it was a Reagan matter. One Danny wasn't going to let anyone take control of. If Kathleen wasn't the daughter of Scott and Janet Artuso, who was she? Did her family know she was okay? Were they worried about her? Did they think she died or ran away? When was she taken? Danny got into his car, was she abused as a child? Did Kathleen hide details of her life from Jack? Did Kathleen know about any of this? Danny's mind filled with questions as he sped to One Police Plaza praying Jack would be strong enough to make it through the unknown. Danny had yet to realize the box that was opened and just how far down the rabbit hole the Reagan family was about to go for one of their own.


	2. Chapter 2

"That's great that the baby is doing so well. When do you find out the sex?" Linda Reagan sat at home by herself while her children were in a summer school program to help kids get a six week refresher course on what they learned over the last year as well as act as a day camp with lots of fun crafts and activities for the kids to keep them busy all summer long. Spense was at daycare until Danny got out of work to pick him up. She was surprised to see her phone light up with Margaret's name in the middle of the day. She had answered her phone with a quick prayer that everyone in her family was safe and sound. When she found out it was Margaret calling to chat Linda felt the stress melt from her shoulders, though there was one thing that still bothered her, however, she just couldn't put her finger on it.

"We should find out soon. I can't wait." Margaret said over the phone, "I think it's a boy. I feel a lot like I did with Will."

"Oh, Jamie will love that. The more testosterone in this family the better." Linda joked.

"So it's not just Jamie. Danny too?" Margaret laughed.

"I'll be surprised if Danny doesn't have a heart attack when he finds out we have to sign a waiver for Grace for school. This is the year they do sex education in her health class. And it's not like previous years where it's about her body changing and becoming a woman or where babies come from. This year its boys and girls in the same class." Linda explained.

"You think he's going to let her go?" Margaret wondered.

"Either he lets her go or we do it ourselves but she's twelve next week. She will be in seventh grade. I don't like it but I'd rather her be informed than not know about it until it's too late." Linda shrugged her shoulders, "Danny has to realize his little girl is growing up."

"I have a feeling I'm going to have the same problem when Jo is older. Jamie already wants to shelter her from everything." Margaret sighed.

The two women carried on their conversation about their husbands and daughters unaware of the situation that was unfolding in the office of Commissioner Frank Reagan. Linda had no idea that in a few hours she'd get a phone call that would change the way she looked at her daughter-in-law for the rest of her life.

* * *

Kathleen Reagan was sitting at her desk going over one of her more difficult cases. Two small children were left home alone while the mother worked her second shift job. The mother couldn't afford proper childcare and was unaware of the father's location to go after him for child support. She was trying her best but when she left her small children one evening the apartment building had a fire. No one was hurt or injured but the state of New York stepped in taking the children into temporary custody. Kathleen was working towards helping the mother either change jobs and hours and find childcare for her children when she was working. A knock on her office door jolted her out of her emails.

"Can I help you?" Kathleen looked up at the NYPD officer in her doorway.

"Kathleen Reagan?" The officer asked.

"Yes. I am." Kathleen nodded her head.

"Ma'am, I need you to come with me." The officer told her without explanation.

"Is my husband alright?" Kathleen's first thought went to Jack and if he was hurt.

Yes, ma'am." The officer said, "Please. I need you to come with me. Right away."

"Just a second." Kathleen closed her laptop and gathered her things, "Let me just call my husband." 

"Ma'am I'm just here to escort you to One-PP as requested by Lieutenant Reagan." The officer told her.

"And if my father-in-law sent you he would have told my husband. So you can wait a minute while I confirm with him." Kathleen huffed. She didn't like the tone the officer was using with her. Almost as if he was treating her as some type of suspect, "Jack." Kathleen said when he answered the phone.

"You okay?!" Jack gasped.

"I'm good. I think. There's an officer here to pick me up at work. Says your Dad sent him as an escort to the Commissioner." Kathleen said to him, "I just wanted to confirm."

"Yeah. Hold on." Jack pulled the phone away from his face for a moment, "Officer Koval was sent out to follow you here. You can take your car and he will escort you here."

"Is everything alright?" Kathleen asked.

"Uh...There's been a situation. We just need you here." Jack said.

"Okay." Kathleen nodded her head with the phone in her hand. She knew sometimes Jack had a reason for things but could' tell her. Obviously, this was a safety issue if he was having an officer follow her in her car to One-PP, "Love you."

"Love you too." Jack replied before ending the phone call.

"Let's go." Kathleen picked up her laptop bag and followed the officer out the door wondering what could possibly have happened that required an escort for the short ride to One Police Plaza. Kathleen tried to think of any reason Jack would have had someone follow her. She wondered if someone in the family was hurt. It couldn't' be Frank. She was headed to his office. If it was Jack she'd have been sent to the hospital and he wouldn't have lied over the phone. If it was Danny, Jack would have said something. Kathleen wondered if it was Linda or Margaret that was sick or hurt. It had to be important for her to be pulled from work. Kathleen wondered if a threat was put out on the Reagan family. Something credible from one of the gangs they crossed paths with. Kathleen hummed lightly trying to figure out what was wrong, praying it wasn't too serious.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Dad. What do we do about this?" Jack paced back and forth.

"We talk to Kathleen. Then go from there." Danny told his eldest child.

"I feel like we're ambushing her." Jack shook his head.

Danny watched his son look so much like him as he got older, "Grandpa and I will step out for a few minutes so you can break the news. But then we all have to talk." 

"Right." Jack nodded. The knock on the commissioner's door brought silence to the room.

Detective Baker opened the door, "Ms. Reagan is here." 

"Thank you." Frank smiled.

"Jack. What's going on?" Kathleen looked around the room. The three faces looking back at her made her realize just how serious this was, "Jack?" 

"We'll step out." Frank said. He and Danny stepped out of his office leaving Kathleen with Jack.

"Kathleen." Jack stepped forward. He took her hand gently tugging her towards the couch, "Come sit down."

"What's going on? Whose hurt? What happened?" Kathleen took a deep breath.

"There was an incident today." Jack said slowly, "It's your parents."

"What happened? Was my Dad hurt?" Kathleen started to worry.

"You know how you haven't heard from them in a few weeks. You mentioned that it was odd and when Hannah called you about it you said you were getting worried." Danny tried to jog her memory.

"Yeah." Kathleen nodded.

"They were found." Jack said, "Kathleen, they found your little sisters. They found Ashley, Christy, and Lillian. Honey, the girls were murdered."

"What?!" Kathleen felt as if she couldn't breathe, "What, what do you mean murdered?! What about my parents?!"

"They were arrested." Jack told her, "When the girls were found DNA tests came back the girls weren't a match for each other. Which wouldn't be a red flag since they were all adopted. But it popped in the Missing Persons Database. Ashley, Christy, and Lillian were kidnapped."

"What?! How did my parents adopt them if they were kidnapped? You can't think-They couldn't have murdered them." Kathleen shook her head.

"Kathleen, the girls went missing at the same time your parents said the adoption was final. And there's no paperwork about the adoption." Jack said, "They tested Hannah. Since she was the closest to the house. She's not biologically related to your parents either. The FBI wants to test all of you. They think your parents have been doing this for years. They think that none of you are really who you are."

"Oh my God." Kathleen covered her mouth. She closed her eyes, "Oh God." Kathleen started to cry.

Frank and Danny stepped back into the room, "How are we doing?" Frank asked.

"Have you called my sisters?" Kathleen asked, "Oh God, they aren't even my sisters."

"We'll figure this all out." Frank took a seat.

Danny sat on the other side of Kathleen, "Kathleen. Do you remember your mom pregnant when you were a child?"

Kathleen shrugged her shoulders, "I was only eight and a half when Hannah was born. And with Ashley, Christy, and Lillian, we knew they were adopted. Or supposedly adopted." Kathleen looked up at her husband, "What happens if they aren't my parents? Who does that make me? I could have a whole life out there that I know nothing about. What happens to me if I was kidnapped?"

"Nothing. Nothing happens to you." Jack put his arm around his wife, "We figure this out together. Nothing happens to you."

"I need to call my sisters." Kathleen shook her head.

"I know you really want to talk to them, but there are some questions that we need to ask." Danny said softly. He knew Kathleen was trying to process a lot but the sooner questions were answered the sooner they could find out what was going on.

"Okay." Kathleen nodded. She hated this but she was sure it had to be done. Her father-in-law wouldn't be so persistent if it wasn't important.

"When was the last time you talked to your parents?" Danny asked.

"A few weeks ago." Kathleen said, "I don't recall exactly what day. I can check my phone though. I talked to my mom on my cell phone the last time when I talked to them. I didn't talk to my dad too much that call."

"Is it usually that long between times you talk to them?" Danny quested.

"Sometimes. We've never really been close. In case you hadn't noticed at the wedding." Kathleen referred to her wedding with Jack, "We're not like that. My family is the opposite of yours. Ours..." Kathleen sighed.

Danny started to ask another question only to be interrupted by his phone, "Reagan." Danny listened to the person on the other end of the phone, "Yeah....okay...Thanks." Danny ended the phone call, "Kathleen, they came back with results from Charlotte and Liz. They aren't biologically related to your parents. And they got a hit on Hannah. She was kidnapped from a maternity ward in Hartford, Connecticut two days after she was born. Her parents never had the chance to take her home." Danny said, "We need to get that test done for you." 

"Oh my God. They aren't my parents, they aren't my sisters. Oh my God." Kathleen started to get upset.

"It's okay." Jack hugged her close, "It's going to be okay."

"They weren't the best parents but they didn't hit me or touch me. They didn't do anything like that. How could they kidnap all of us? How could they do that?" Kathleen couldn't wrap her head around it.

"I don't know. But I know it's going to be okay." Jack said, "I promise. Nothing's going to happen to you. As far as I'm concerned you're still Kathleen Reagan and nothing will change that."

"I think everything's changed." Kathleen took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. She had no idea what was going to happen next. She just prayed that whatever it is she wouldn't lose the last bit of family she had left. The family currently surrounding her.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night Danny had picked up his kids from their summer school program and daycare. When he and the kids finally got home Linda was upstairs in her bedroom folding laundry. When Danny had called on his way home telling her the family was coming over for something important. He explained that Kathleen was picked up and had a meeting with Jack, Frank, and Danny at Frank's office that afternoon. Linda wasn't sure what was going on but for the whole family to get together in the middle of the week, it didn't look good.

Linda looked up as her bedroom door opened, "Hey you." Danny sighed, "Jack and Kathleen are here. Sean is on his way. Jamie and Margaret should be here any minute and Dad's getting the kids set up in the playroom with a movie to watch."

Linda nodded her head, "Okay. Just let me uh..." Linda bit her bottom lip. She hated that she still had weeks to go before the reconstruction surgery, "I just have to get dressed." Linda had never felt more uncomfortable than she did post-mastectomy. She stood from her spot on the bed, headed for her dresser to pull out her camisole with breast forms sewn in it. 

Danny walked up behind his wife. He wished he could blink his eyes and make her feel better. Instead, he opted to do the best he could. Danny slipped his arms around her waist from behind, "I love you." Danny held her close.

"I love you too." Linda leaned against Danny, "Any chance you'll give me a preview of what's going on and why we have the whole family here?"

"There's been an incident with Kathleen's family. Her little sisters, the ones that her parents adopted last year, were found dead. Her parents were arrested for the murders. It also was found out that they were kidnapped." Danny said softly.

"Oh my God!" Linda gasped, "Poor Kathleen!" 

"It gets worse." Danny let go of Linda as she slipped out of his grasp. She pulled her current shirt over her head before slipping her cami on. Linda tugged her shirt over her head again, "We don't think any of Kathleen's sisters or Kathleen are biologically related to their parents. We think they were all kidnapped."

Linda's jaw dropped to the floor, "Was Kathleen?"

"We don't know yet." Danny said. He took Linda's hand in his, "C'mon. We should head downstairs." Linda nodded her head following her husband downstairs. Jack and Kathleen were sitting at the dining room table. Jack had his arm around Kathleen's shoulders whilst Jamie and Margaret walked through the kitchen.

"Hey, honey." Linda walked over to Kathleen, "I'm so sorry." Linda hugged her daughter-in-law.

"I just can't believe it. I don't know what to do or think. This is just so much." Kathleen sniffled.

"It's going to be okay." Linda promised.

"Kathleen, I heard about everything. Linda's right. We're going to make sure we take care of this. You've got all of us here." Jamie said to her.

"Hey. What's going on?" Sean walked into the dining room still in uniform from finishing his tour.

"Good. We're all here." Frank took his seat at the table followed by the rest of the Reagan family.

Danny cleared his throat, "Here's what's going on." He looked over at Kathleen, "Kathleen's parents, Scott and Janet, were arrested this morning. They were arrested for kidnapping and murder. Kathleen's three little siblings. The girls that were adopted last year were found murdered. When the DNA tests came back, they popped as missing persons in the system. Kathleen's sister, Hannah, was the first to be tested out of her siblings. She was found to be kidnapped as well. Kathleen was tested. The results aren't back yet. They are spreading out to the rest of Kathleen's siblings to see who is related to who, how, and if more of them were taken from their original family." Danny explained, "Charlotte and Liz were also tested. Once again, they aren't a match."

"Does this mean Kathleen was kidnapped?" Sean asked.

"I don't know. I was only eight and a half when Hannah was born. I don't remember my mom ever  _not_ being pregnant with my sisters but I was so little." Kathleen shook her head, "I could have a whole different name, and I have a different family. Who knows if they were looking for me all these years? Did they even have me for a little while? Was I taken as a baby? I have no idea what to think." 

"No matter what, you always have this family." Frank said to her.

Jack hugged his wife tight, "We'll figure this out."

Frank's phone rang from his pocket, "Excuse me." He stood from the table taking the phone call in the kitchen. The Reagan family offered their words of love and support waiting in anticipation of what Frank would say when he returned.

After a few moments, Frank walked back into the room, "Kathleen. Your DNA results came back. You're not a match to your parents or any of your sisters that have been tested so far." Kathleen felt as if she was going to be sick, "It hit for a cold case. We'll need to take a look at the file to see what happened but it looks like your father worked a case, and somehow took you from the scene." Frank explained, "Danny the file is on it's way to your precinct. Get your best detectives on it. Jamie, I need you to follow up on the original cold case. Take Detective Yates and make the trip to Boston."

"Yes, Sir." Jamie nodded his head.

"What about me?" Jack asked wondering what role he could play that would help.

"Stay with Kathleen. You'll both need each other through this." Danny said as if he was speaking from experience. He knew how hard it was to get through a tough case, especially when it included someone you loved. The best thing Jack could do is stick by Kathleen's side to be there for her no matter what.

* * *

That night found Danny and Linda in their bedroom long after the family had gone home and kids had gone to sleep. Linda was standing in the bathroom with her robe tied loosely around her waist. She'd just stepped out of a hot shower. The steam fogged up the mirror in front of her. Linda sighed. Her thirtieth wedding anniversary in just a few days, Linda was even more insecure than she felt before. She and Danny hadn't been intimate since she had the mastectomy but three days ago her doctor gave her the pass to resume most physical activities again as long as she was careful and didn't overexert herself. Linda wanted to make love to her husband but couldn't imagine how he would feel without having her breasts, nor could she imagine how she'd feel about Danny touching her where her breasts once were. Everything was so different. Linda pulled the belt to her robe a little tighter as she stepped out of the bathroom. Danny sat in bed with the case file he'd picked up from the precinct. He'd been reading over every word with a fine tooth comb hoping to figure out what happened to Kathleen. Linda sat on the bed, taking a bottle of lotion in her hands. Her back was turned towards Danny while she started at her feet, slowly working her way up her legs massaging her body as her hands warmed the lotion on her skin.

Out of the corner of his eye, Danny watched his wife slowly run her hands up and down her calf. The top of her robe fell to the side exposing her bare shoulder. Danny smirked as he watched Linda take a deep breath before digging her fingers into her skin to work out any knots she found. Linda's head lolled to the side and her lips parted slightly as she rubbed a particularly tight spot. Danny flipped the case file closed, placing it on his nightstand. He shifted to kneel behind his wife. Danny gently placed Linda's shoulders, sliding one under the robe still covering one shoulder. His lips magnetically pulled themselves towards her neck. Danny nipped at her skin leaving behind a light red mark.

"You're beautiful." Danny whispered.

"Thank you." Linda blushed a deep red. She couldn't help herself when she moaned as Danny's expert hands pushed and pulled against her skin. His thumbs dug in deep at the nape of her neck, "Danny." Linda hummed his name.

"The kids are asleep." Danny smiled, "The house is quiet. You're cleared for physical activity." He grinned. Danny dropped kisses to Linda's neck and shoulder.

Linda sighed, "Oh Danny." She felt guilty for telling him no. But she didn't want him to treat her like she was breakable and she knew that if he was making love to her and saw her scars on her chest that he'd stop in his tracks. He'd comfort her rather than love her, "Honey. I don't think that's a good idea." Linda pulled away from Danny.

"You feel okay?" Danny's mind sped towards concern.

"Yeah." Linda fixed her robe before turning to face him, "I just...I don't know how to be like this anymore."

"Like what?" Danny asked. He squeezed her hand in his.

"I know that the doctor said  I was okay as long as I was careful. But until I have the reconstruction, there's nothing there. It's just flat and scars." Linda gestured to her chest, "You've seen it when they checked at the last appointment. It's nothing." Linda frowned, "And it's been a while. For both of us. What if things don't work the same way anymore?" Linda hadn't talked about her fears with her husband. She'd buried them inside hoping to hold out until her reconstruction surgery. It seemed that Danny had other plans.

"What's not going to work? Because I can assure you, I'm insanely attracted to you." His eyes dropped hoping Linda's gaze would follow his to his tented pajama pants, "Breasts or no breasts. Sweetheart, we've talked about this." Danny said softly. 

Linda licked her lips. She wanted Danny. She wanted to feel him inside her. She was desperate to feel his body against hers. It had been far too long since they'd been intimate together. Linda's fear kept her from moving forward and taking steps to touch her husband, "What if things on my end don't work anymore? What if when you see the scars up close and touch them, and you don't want me anymore?"

"I'll always want you, Linda." Danny scooted closer to his wife, "I don't want to pressure you." 

Linda cut Danny off, "You're not. I just don't know. I'm not exactly comfortable but I'm scared and I know you love me, and I just don't know if not having breasts will change things and I don't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" Danny gasped, "Oh Linda. You never could disappoint me."

"Even if I can't do things the way I used to?" Linda looked into her husband's eyes.

"All that matters is that you're comfortable." Danny told her, "Linda if you don't want to have sex, we don't have to."

"That's the thing." Linda took a deep breath, "I want you. I want you so much, Danny." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts, "But I'm scared that you won't want me. I'm different. My body is different now. I don't know if it will react differently. I don't know what to expect and that scares me." Linda slid her arms around his neck, "But I want you. I want to love you. I want to feel you. I want to touch you. I want you, Danny." Linda rambled nervously.

"I want you too." Danny cupped Linda's cheek with one hand bringing her lips to his, "I love you. Let me show you how much." He whispered huskily. Danny slowly trailed a hand down the side of Linda's body to the belt of her robe. Danny tugged gently at the loose knot pulling the belt apart. His lips trailed from his wifes to her cheek, making their way down her jawline and neck stopping to swirl his tongue against her pulse point, feeling her heartbeat under his lips. He slid one hand in her robe caressing the soft skin of her stomach. Linda tugged at Danny's shirt, desperate to feel his skin beneath her fingertips. Danny pulled back from Linda just far enough to yank his shirt over his head tossing it to the ground behind him. 

Linda placed her palm flat against his chest. Her thumb rubbing small soft circles. Danny moved a hand behind Linda's back gently laying her on the bed beneath him. He felt Linda shake under his touch, "You okay?" He asked gently.

"Do you remember when I was shot?" Linda asked softly shifting under Danny's weight. Her robe falling open more as she moved.

Danny nodded his head, "Of course." His forefinger traced over the scars on her back.

"Do you remember how scared I was to make love to you because of the scars?" Linda reminded him.

"I do." He kissed her lips, "And if I recall correctly I took my time, loved every inch of you, and made love to you until we were both weary and spent."

"You made me feel like there was nothing that could ever change the look in your eyes when you see me. That scars on my body weren't anything to be ashamed of. That I had nothing to be scared of because you love me." Linda took a deep breath. She gathered her courage and slowly pulled her robe back. The cool air hitting her skin creating goosebumps across her body. Danny shifted his weight to his arms, bracing himself over Linda.

"You're beautiful." He said honestly. Danny's fingertips slowly crawled up Linda's body. He slowly and carefully touched Linda's chest tracing her scars. Linda held her breath as Danny touched her. He leaned closer to Linda tracing the tattoo on her shoulder. Danny pressed his lips to the middle of Linda's chest, "You're so gorgeous."

"Danny, you don't-" Linda started to speak only to feel Danny's lips crushing against hers. His tongue pushed its way through her lips searching for hers. He gently lowered himself on top of her pressing her into the mattress. Linda's body lit up when his chest pressed against hers. The heat from his body sending a spark through hers. Danny's hips ground against Linda's. She could feel his hardness through his pants. Linda clasped her fingers around his neck unwilling to let him go. Danny deeply kissed his wife until the need for air was screaming from their lungs. He pulled back just slightly allowing Linda just enough space to pull his pants and boxers down. Linda moved to meet their hips only to have Danny pin her down.

"We'll get there. Have patience." He smirked.

Danny kissed a line down Linda's neck to her collarbone. He slowly made his way down to the middle of her chest. Danny carefully licked and kissed the scars on his wife's body, being sure to be gentle with her. Linda was overcome with an immense feeling of love surrounding her. Danny didn't miss a beat. He traced the scars on her chest, mapping out her body with his mouth. Danny moved further south with his lips as his fingers spread against her upper thighs. Danny continued his path down her body until he hovered over her. He pressed a soft kiss to her opening before turning his head to her thigh. Danny teased his wife with his mouth on her thigh before biting her. He left a deep purple mark on the inside of her thigh, smiling when he heard her breath catch as she became more aroused. Danny's finger slipped between her folds causing her to moan his name. He circled his fingertip before sliding it into her. Danny grinned as he felt the wet heat dripping from his wife. He easily slid a second finger inside his wife, slowly dragging them in and out of her. Danny kissed up her thigh hovering over her. His warm breath on her skin pushing her closer to the edge. Danny's lips descended upon Linda's body smirking when he heard her gasp. He slowly, almost tortuously slow, circled the tiny ball of nerves on his wife's body. Linda's body tingled with fire as Danny's tongue, mouth and fingers worked together. Danny pushed Linda closer and closer to the edge before speeding up his pace. His fingers pumped faster and faster, in and out while his lips pressed harder and his tongue firmer against her body. Danny's free hand gripped her hip tightly leaving a slight red impression of his fingers on her skin. Danny sucked the nub between his teeth, rolling it with his tongue. Linda's body clenched his fingers, his name rolled off her lips over and over as she gushed around his fingers. Danny didn't stop. Knowing how sensitive she was he pushed her, again and again, sending her over the edge once again. Danny slipped his fingers out of his wife hearing her moan at the loss only to replace his tongue where his fingers once were. He stroked inside her, tasting her as he drank her up. Danny continued until he felt Linda weakly pulse around him a third time. Linda's breathing came in short shallow breaths as she lay exhausted on their bed. Danny was determined to make her feel amazing and he'd delivered on that promise.

Danny's tongue swirled around Linda's body one last time, the taste of her sending sparks through his body. It was taking everything he had in him not to mount her and pound her into the mattress. Danny wanted to make her feel cherished and loved. Hard, primal sex could hold off until he was done showing how deep his love was for his wife. Danny licked his way up Linda's body tasking her skin beneath him. He left sweet kisses to the scars on her chest before searching for her lips. Linda grunted tasting herself on Danny's mouth.

"Danny." Linda huffed.

She pulled Danny impossibly closer. His stiff body pressing against her stomach. Linda shifted to adjust her hips feeling him dripping against her. Danny carefully lined them up before slowly entering his wife. The warm wet heat welcoming him home. Linda's body adjusting automatically to the fullness of her husband. Danny's length and girth a perfect fit for Linda's body. Danny lifted her legs over his shoulders where she locked her ankles behind his neck. The angle adjustment meaning he could penetrate deeper and harder. Danny snapped his hips back and forth. Each thrust faster and faster. Danny braced himself with his forearms surrounding Linda's head. His lips crashing into hers. Linda's lips parting automatically allowing Danny's tongue to slip inside. Danny felt his high rip through his body causing his toes to curl. He pulled back from her lips just enough for her name to tumble out of his over and over as he shot inside her. Danny swore he blacked out for a moment finally feeling the release he'd been craving. Danny slid a hand between the two of them, knowing that with a little pressure he just might get her to fall a fourth time that night. Danny groaned in pleasure as he felt Linda's body react the way he'd hoped. Her body squeezed around him, milking every drop from him while coating him with her own fluid. The two lovers taking their time to regain their breath before pulling apart slightly. Linda whimpered at the loss of her husband as she slid out of her letting her legs fall to the side. Danny's hand slid down Linda's body to gently caress her as a puddle formed beneath her. Danny smirked trying to think back to the last time they'd made such a mess in bed. 

Linda turned to face Danny sliding a hand around his neck pulling his lips to hers, "I love you so very much." Linda rested their foreheads together.

"I love you more." Danny grinned.

"I love you the most." Linda hooked a leg around Danny's hips pulling him as close as possible, "Thank you." Linda felt tears in her eyes. She tried to hide them feeling stupid for getting so emotional. However, with the high energy in the room, Linda coudln't help herself. Her heart and brain were overwhelmed with feelings of love and support from her husband.

"For what?" Danny hooked a finger under her chin.

"For loving me." Linda said as if that was the only obvious answer.

"I should be thanking you for allowing me to love you. For allowing me to show you how beautiful you are. How amazing you are. I love you, Linda. You're my world. The most important person in my life. I love you so much, Babe." Danny confessed.

"Oh, Danny." Linda shivered from the cool air on her sweaty skin.

Danny pulled the sheet up over him and Linda knowing they'd both need a shower and to change the sheets before sleeping but content to hold her, stroke her, caress her until they both could muster up the strength to get out of bed, "I wish I could do so much more for you." He whispered.

"You do more than I could ever have imagined." Linda kissed his lips sweetly. Linda lay her head on Danny's chest not wanting to get up just yet. The two of them stayed in bed until Linda started to feel sticky. Danny was surprised when she tugged him behind her in the shower, citing the need for company only to start round two in the shower leaving them both feeling loved and sated. That night Linda fell asleep in Danny's arms finally feeling like the woman she was before she lost her breasts. Danny held his wife close praying this was the start to the emotional and psychological healing Linda was still wading through.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The following morning Danny rolled over in bed when his alarm rang. He reached his arm out for Linda frowning when his hand his air, then her pillow. Danny opened his eyes not seeing Linda beside him. He turned off his alarm before sitting up in bed. It was then that he saw the light in their bathroom was on. Danny waited for a few moments. When Linda didn't come out he got out of bed.

"Babe?" Danny knocked quietly on the door noticing it was slightly ajar.

"It's open." Linda replied.

Danny pushed the door open to find his wife standing in front of the mirror looking lost and confused, "You alright?" He asked.

"I was just looking." Linda's fingers were tracing over a scar on her chest where she'd been stabbed once.

"At what?" Danny stepped closer to her.

"All the things we've been through. All the...horrific, scary things that have happened. All the scars I have. All the scars you have." Linda turned to Danny, walking her fingers up his chest. She ran her fingertips over the ridges and bumps on his skin. Dragging slowly across the valleys created by his muscles, "Through everything, we've come out pretty okay in the end. We've had a lot to work to do. Together and separate. I feel like I have a lot to do still but I also know that you're here. You're not leaving. You're not going anywhere." Linda took a deep breath. She looked up at Danny, "I might really suck at showing it sometimes and I know I get insecure and sometimes I need more..." Linda paused thinking of the right words to say, "Sometimes I need more reassurance that you love me, even when I know that you do. And I know that's not really fair to you to ask you to shoulder that additional burden." Linda spread her fingers across Danny's chest, above his heart, "But through everything, I've always known who I was. I didn't have the best parents or the best childhood." Linda felt Danny's arms circle her waist, "We both know my parents weren't the best people in the world. They were the parents that shouldn't have been parents. But I still knew who I was. I was your girlfriend when we were dating, then your fiancee, then your wife and the mother of our children. I've always been yours. And that's defined me for most of my life." Linda told him, "I put my past behind me. I put my childhood away because I had you to hold onto and a whole family who was openly accepting of me knowing what I'd been through as a kid." Linda leaned into Danny, curling into his warm embrace, seeking comfort, and safety, "I don't know how I'd deal with my childhood unraveling before my eyes. Finding out it was all based on a lie. That I wasn't the person I thought I was. It might have been a traumatizing childhood and hard to handle but at least I know it was real. It happened. My memories aren't figments of my imagination. I know my life really happened and I think I'm a better person for knowing that. I don't know how we help Kathleen through this. She's going to find out she has new parents, new siblings, a whole family she didn't know about. What if they reject her? What if they stopped looking for her? What if they are worse than Janet and Scott? What if they blame Kathleen for going missing for some reason? What if she finds out there is no family out there? Maybe her parents were only children and so is she, and her parents died? How do we help her when we don't even know what to expect?" Linda's heart broke for her daughter-in-law. She wished there was some way she could fix everything. No one should ever have to live not knowing who they are or where they came from.

"We make sure she feels loved. From the whole family. We make sure she knows that no matter what Jamie finds out in Boston or what I find out here, that she is still our daughter. Genetics never played a role in that, nor has it played a role in who we consider our child since we adopted Grace. We love her. We make her feel safe and secure when she's with us and without. We stand by and support her and Jack in any way possible." Danny pulled Linda as close to his body as possible without crushing her, "You're wrong, by the way." Danny smiled, "In part of your ramble there. You're wrong."

"Which part?" Linda asked.

"You said you get insecure and need more reassurance that I love you. You said it's not fair for me to carry that burden." Danny jogged her memory, "Well first, it's not a burden. To tell you I love you or how much I love you or tell you that I will always love you. That's not a burden. I don't mind telling you I love you. I'll say it a million times a day. Because when I say it, I'm reminding that I'm the luckiest man on Earth. That being married to you is the greatest blessing I could ever receive. Besides, when I do say I love you, you still blush like you did when we were in high school. To know that three little words can make you so happy. That all I have to do to get you to smile is to tell you I love you. Plus, you don't just blush in your cheeks." Danny lowered his voice, "I know full well that blush goes from the tip of your nose to your toes and everywhere in between." Danny grinned. He kissed his wife sweetly, "You. Are. Never. A Burden." Danny punctuated each word with a short kiss. Danny slid his hands up the back of her shirt, "See. I was right." He gently kissed her jaw, working his way down her neck, "You're warm. That blush is all over your body." Danny carefully walked Linda backward until she hit the counter. He put a hand on the counter edge so it wouldn't dig into her back. Linda tipped her head back letting Danny nip playfully at her neck. Last night had been a long slow night of making love and foreplay, however, Linda's appetite wanted more. After not being touched for so long she finally felt comfortable enough to be that close.

"MOM! DADDY! Grace took my skirt!" Faith's loud scream filtered through the bedroom and bathroom door.

Danny groaned against Linda's neck, "We'll be out in ten minutes!" Danny shouted back.

"I _need_ my skirt  _ **now**_!" Faith yelled sounding more annoyed as the seconds passed.

"It can wait ten minutes!" Danny sighed. In the back of his mind, he knew it was a lost cause. The girls fighting over clothes always turned into a battle these days.

"But Daddy!" Faith wailed.

"Hey!" Grace's voice joined her sister's, "Stop being such a tattletale!"

"It's  _my_  skirt!" Faith yelled at her.

"But you said you weren't wearing it today!" Grace yelled back.

"Both of you knock it off!" Jack's voice overpowered them both, "Give me the skirt and leave Mom and Dad alone." Jack told his younger sisters. Grace turned to speak but Jack cut her off, "Don't you think they are busy? If the bedroom door is shut are you supposed to stand out here and argue over a skirt?" He crossed his arms as he reprimanded his siblings.

"It's not like they are doing anything important!" Faith yelled.

"Yeah!" Grace frowned at Jack.

"Does that excuse fly with Dad?" He asked Faith.

"No." Faith took a deep breath.

Jack was about to speak when Danny and Linda opened the door. Danny with a shirt and pajama pants on, Linda still in her robe but she'd put on one of Danny's t-shirts underneath, " _See!_ " Faith pointed, "They weren't busy."

"Actually we were but now that you two had to argue first thing in the morning, I think this means extra chores tonight. Together." Danny said sternly.

"What were you  _doing?"_ Asked Faith.

"Does it matter?" Danny asked her back.

Grace looked from her mother to her father and back again, "Why can't we know?" She piped up.

"Because it's not your business. Now, go get dressed, not in your sister's skirt and check in on Spense. See if he's still sleeping. If he's not sleeping bring him down the hall and I'll get him changed in my room." Linda told her.

"Why do I  _always_ have to do  _everything_!" Grace groaned.

"Because." Danny replied, "Now do as you're asked."

"It's not fair! Faith gets to do whatever she wants to do and I always have to do something for Mom! God! She doesn't do _anything_ anymore! She just sits around and tells me to do  _everything!_ I don't see why you can't just be normal again!" Grace grumbled.

"Hey! Show your mother some respect!" Danny narrowed his eyes at his daughter, who clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

"Maybe she should show _me_ some respect. I hate my family." Grace mumbled under her breath. She spun on her heel to walk away only to be blocked by her father.

"Excuse me?" Danny cleared his throat. Grace knew she was in trouble by his tone of voice. She knew what she said was wrong but it just sort of came out, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing, Daddy." Grace refused to answer his question.

"Nothing?" Danny asked her giving her one last chance to reply. He took her silence as an answer, "Then you can think about the nothing that you just said, and how disrespectful it was and how I won't tolerate anyone, including you, to talk about your mother like that. Go to your room."

"But Daddy!" Grace complained.

"Now." Danny said sternly.

"This isn't fair!" Grace balled her hands into fists as she started to get upset.

"No, it's not fair. It's not fair that your mother would do anything in the world for you, yet you speak so rudely about her. It's not fair that your mother is sick and asked you for a little help. It's not fair that you feel the need to use that very smart brain of yours to do something so unintelligent. Now go to your room." Danny told her, clearly angry with her actions.

"For how long!?" Grace pouted.

"Until I'm not mad at you anymore and you can be the polite, respectful, little girl your mother and I raised you to be." Danny replied.

"Great! I'm grounded forever!" Grace moaned as she stomped her feet loudly. She passed Spense's room and slammed her door shut. 

Second's later Spense was heard, "I UP!" He yelled out.

"I'll get him." Jack offered, "C'mon you. Why don't you get dressed then you can help with Spense."

"Why do I have to help?!" Faith whined.

"Want to sit in your room with your sister?" Danny threatened.

"No." Faith shook her head.

"Then do what your big brother says. Besides, you're the one that started this with interrupting your mother and me." Danny stood with his arms across his chest.

Faith sighed loudly, "Fine." She huffed as she went to her room to change quickly.

Danny walked back to where Linda had stood against the doorframe. He put a hand on her hip, "She's just mad." Danny said softly. Linda nodded her head, "She'll get over it." Danny told her.

Linda nodded her head again, "What if she doesn't?" Linda asked, her voice showing more hurt than she cared to admit.

"She will." Danny pulled Linda into a tight hug. He hated that it seemed like nothing he could say would make Linda feel better at the moment. They'd heard from their friends who had girls when Jack and Sean were teenagers. 'Be glad you have boys. Girls are dramatic.' Danny shook his head. They weren't kidding. Most days went by perfectly fine but they always knew when Grace's hormones were out of sync. She snarled at everyone. Snapped at her family. She'd cried for hours on end. Danny hoped that as her body adjusted it would settle down. He wasn't sure how they were going to survive the teen years if things kept up this way. He ran his fingers through Linda's hair as she held tight to his shirt. He wished he could stay here all day. Home, in his pajamas, with Linda in his arms. But the latest case was calling his name. He knew he had to get himself to work to get started on unfolding the past of Kathleen Reagan.


	6. Chapter 6

After a tense morning, Danny headed into work to get started on the case, Jack had dropped off some old photos Kathleen had of the family growing up. They'd both hoped it would help find out who Kathleen and her sisters were. Grace stayed in her room staying home from her summer school program as punishment. Danny had gone up before leaving for work telling her that if she gave her mother any trouble while she was home for the day, she'd be grounded until Christmas. Danny took Faith and Sam to their school program, then dropped Spense at daycare so Linda wouldn't have too rough of a day. He hoped Grace turned her attitude around. Whilst he could be sympathetic he wasn't going to let one of his children mouth off and disrespect their mother. He didn't let Sean and Jack get away with it. He wasn't going to let Grace get away with it under the guise of hormones.

Linda spent most of her morning doing a little light housework. Danny had tried to keep up with everything while she was recovering but laundry was never his strong point. She was in the basement switching a load when she heard quiet footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Mom?" Grace stood on the bottom step.

"Yes, Grace." Linda sighed not happy with her daughter's behavior from that morning.

"Can I come out of my room now and play?" Grace asked.

"What did Daddy tell you before he left?" Linda reminded her.

"That I can only come out if I need something and I'm grounded for the whole day." Grace replied sadly, "But I'm sorry! I know what I said was wrong and I'm sorry I said it. Can I come out now? I apologized and I mean it. So does that mean I'm still grounded?" 

Linda looked at her daughter, "Honey, you can't just apologize and think that it makes everything okay."

"But it does!" Grace said quickly, "I said I'm sorry. And then it's okay. Everything is okay now so I can come out of my room." Grace tried to reason.

"No." Linda shook her head, "Grace, I'm happy you apologized and I accept it but that doesn't make your behavior okay. You  _know_ what you said was mean and that you shouldn't have said it."

"But now I apologized! Why do I still have to be punished!?" Grace whined.

"Just because you are sorry and apologized doesn't mean you don't have to finish out your punishment. When you do something wrong, you get punished. You don't get released from punishment until it's over. Grace, I know you said you are sorry. And I accept that apology. However, you are still grounded for the day." Linda said gently.

"It's not fair! You're so mean to me! I hate you!" Grace screamed at her mother. She stormed up the stairs slamming the basement door shut behind her.

Linda sighed heavily. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

Danny Reagan sat at his desk looking through the paperwork pertaining to Kathleen's case. He struggled to understand how a decorated police officer could kidnap children to pass them off as his own He wondered what possessed a person to do such a thing. 

"Lieutenant." Officer Nelson knocked on Danny's office door.

"It's open" Danny looked up from his desk.

"Sir, we found something." Officer Nelson brought him a fax that had just come through.

Danny took the paper, "So none of the sisters are related." Danny sighed. The paper in his hands showed the DNA results of Kathleen and her siblings. None of them shared any genetic markers, "We need to search missing person reports around the times each of these girls were born. Run it through NCIC and see if anything pops."

"Yes, Sir." Officer Nelson nodded his head before leaving the office.

Danny looked at the paper on his desk before picking up his phone. He wondered how Jamie was doing on his end in Boston.

* * *

 

Jamie and his partner, Oliver, had just landed in Boston. They were greeted by Massachusets State Police and taken to the nearest precinct. The officers with the Massachusets State Police were more than happy to share their reports with the two Detectives from New York City. Jamie currently sat across from Scott Artuso in an interrogation room. He hoped to find out anything and everything he could about the man that kidnapped ten girls over the span of thirty-seven years.

"Why did you do it?" Jamie asked.

"Why did I do what?" Scott countered.

"Why did you murder three girls? Why did you kidnap all of them?" Jamie cleared his throat.

"I didn't kidnap anyone. I liberated them. I freed them." Scott replied.

"You took them from their families." Jamie frowned.

"If it wasn't for me, they'd have had horrible lives. I gave them all life." Scott clasped his hands together.

"Tell me about Kathleen." Jamie told Scott, "She was kidnapped from the scene of a crime. One that you worked. Why did you take her?"

"Ah yes, Kathleen. She was such a beautiful child." Scott grinned, "I was so worried when she married that cop nephew of yours. Though he'd find out about everything. But he had no clue. He was just a gullible as the rest of them."

"Why not just have your own children? Or adopt children? Why kidnap them?" Jamie asked.

"They needed to be free. I not only freed them by letting them into my home, I freed their souls. Their every essence. Their body, mind, and spirit. I made sure their body and minds were open. I guided them through every step of life. Have you seen how open a childs eyes can get when you show them how to connect spiritually?" Scott asked Jamie, "When they feel their father inside their heart. Through their whole body. Opening them to a world they hadn't known about until they were liberated. These girls felt me. Through their whole body. They felt me." Jamie's eyes searched Scott's as he tried to read between the lines.

"What did you do to them?" Jamie prompted. If he could get Scott to admit to harming the girls he'd kidnapped they'd have a stronger case against him.

"Doesn't matter now." Scott shrugged his shoulders, "Do you know how it feels to be the only man in your daughter's life? The one who owns her innocence? Who keeps every part of her before passing her off to her husband? When Kathleen told us about Jack we were disappointed. We raised her better than that." Scott stated, "But I'll forever have the innocence of my girls."

Jamie felt like he was going to be sick, "You raped them?" He asked.

"I opened them up to how the world works. I showed them how to be a proper wife. How to submit to their husband. I showed them what it feels like to be a woman so they weren't taken by surprise when they married." Scott smiled, "When a girl is young she doesn't understand what's happening to her body. But if you show her at a young age, then she will know the pain it can cause and stay away until it's time for a marriage."

"How old were they?" Jamie hated asking the question but knowing it would help the case.

"My granddaughter is just about the right age to learn how the world works. I can only hope I taught Kathleen enough so she is sure her daughter will grow up just as she did. Being open to the world in mind and spirit. Opening her body to changes and letting the father have the innocence of a child before it's stolen by a man who will one day steal her away from her family." Scott replied.

"She's not your granddaughter. She's not your daughter." Jamie stated, "How could you rape a five-year-old little girl?"

"It's not rape when you're teaching them. It's was a learning experience. One the girls all seemed to enjoy." Scott grinned.

"You're sick." Jamie shook his head. He stood to walk out of the room not wanting to speak to Scott any longer. He'd had enough of the sick man's words. He didn't need to hear about how he raped his daughters at five years old under the guise of parenting. 

"Oh, Detective." Scott called out. Jamie stood with his hand on the door handle, "I would tread carefully. There is more than just my wife and I out there and we all keep each other safe. You wouldn't want anything happening to your family, would you?"

"Is that some type of threat?" Jamie turned to face Scott.

"It's a warning. Father to father. Husband to husband. Watch your step." Scott stated.

Jamie stepped out of the room shutting the door behind him. His cell phone already out of his pocket. He needed to make sure his family was safe.


	7. Chapter 7

As the day wore on Jamie found he was getting nowhere with Scott Artuso. He'd spent his day talking to Scott only to be horrified at what the man said was normal behavior for a father. He'd talked to Danny who assured Jamie that Margaret and the kids were safe. Jamie was staying in Boston for one more day before heading back to the City. Danny had been at his desk most of the day trying to learn everything he could to help find out who Kathleen was.

That night while at the dinner table with his family, Danny's thoughts raced to what he'd do if someone took one of his children.

"An' I builded a tow twuck an' a gawage an' it was weally weally big!" Sam accented his words with his hands as he talked about what he'd done today.

"I bet it was the best garage and tow truck your teachers saw all day." Linda smiled at her son.

"An' I builded a powce 'tatoin but then it was time to go an' I haf to builded the powce car tomrrow." Sam explained.

"That sounds like fun." Linda grinned, "Faith, how about you. What did you do today?"

"I learned about metamorphosis in insects. Then we got to do a free time craft and I made an Olaf out of cotton balls, a popsicle stick, and pipe cleaners." Faith smiled. She was at the top of her class through the summer school program and was expected to keep getting better. Faith loved to read and was hardly ever without a book nearby.

"That's great, honey." Linda smiled.

"Daddy, I pway bwocks to'ay!" Spense pipped up not wanting to be forgotton. 

"I know! And you were such a good boy at daycare today! Your teacher showed Daddy your happy face when I came to pick you up." Danny leaned over to kiss Spense's cheek. Danny looked to Grace on the other side of the small kitchen table where they ate when the whole family wasn't over for dinner, "How about you Ladybug? Did you turn your day around?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Grace mumbled. In fact, her day seemed to get worse. No matter what she said it wasn't right. She kept mouthing off and saying mean things. Even when she didn't mean them they came out. She was sure her mom had already talked to her daddy and told him that she said she hated her mom. She didn't hate her mom. She hated being in trouble and her mom was the one punishing her. But when she went to say that it came out the wrong way and her whole day was ruined.

"How was your day?" Linda looked over to Danny.

"Long. I have a few things to do after dinner but they can wait for now." Danny said. He brought the case home with him to review and intended to call Jack and Kathleen to enlist some help on what Kathleen remembered from her childhood as a point of referance, "And yours?" Danny asked Linda.

"Can I not talk about it too?" Linda asked sympathizing with Grace. It was a bad day for both of them and Linda didn't want to make it any worse for Grace by talking about her in front of her siblings.

"We can take a rain check." Danny smiled.

"What'th that?" Sam asked.

"When you check for the rain. Duh." Faith rolled her eyes at her brother. 

Danny laughed softly, "It means that Mommy and I will talk later."

"Why does it mean that?" Faith asked.

"Because. It's just a phrase. Like the other day when you asked if you could stay up and read for an extra twenty minutes and I said, 'sure, knock yourself out'. I didn't really mean go knock yourself out. I meant sure, you can do that. Saying 'Want to take a rain check?' means 'want to talk about it later?'." Danny explained to her.

"Oh. That's silly." Faith smiled. The small family finished their meal together, sending Sam and Spense off to play, Faith sat in the corner of the playroom with her nose in a book and Grace went back up to her room where she'd been stuck all day long. Danny told her she could talk about how she was feeling and her day but she declined, saying she'd rather just spend more time alone in her room. It worried Linda but after a long tiring day with high emotions, Linda could understand the need for someone to want to be alone even when it was a punishment that morning. Jack and Kathleen had called Danny to answer any questions he had while looking through the case while Linda sat on the couch with a glass of wine and the TV on low. Just loud enough for her to hear what was going on but quiet enough to hear the whole house. Later, Linda would kick herself for not checking in on Grace. If she knew what her daughter was up to she'd have stopped it before it could have happened.

Up in her room, Grace was on her phone. She'd been given more access as the year wore on and was now able to text a select few friends. What her parents didn't know is that her friend, Amy's older brother, Cameron had shown Grace and Amy how to take off the parental controls on both of their phones and how to hide certain apps. Grace and Amy frequently used a messenger app to talk to each other without their parents knowing. Since both sets of parents routinely checked the text messages and email contact this was a way to talk to each other without feeling like they were being watched. Grace had even made some friends online through the app. She was always careful not to reveal too much info like where she lived or went to school or even her full name. She never imagined someone would be able to take her messages and find out everything about her in under five minutes. That by not letting her parents check into the app first she was setting herself up for a terrifying life experiance.


	8. Chapter 8

Two days later was Danny and Linda's anniversary. Instead of spending the day as they'd originally planned Danny was sitting in the 54th precinct working. Jamie had come home with case files from Boston, only adding to the work the Reagan family was doing to find out exactly what happened to Kathleen and who she really was. Danny was busy with his head buried in papers that he didn't hear Linda knock on his open door. He looked up quickly when he heard footsteps coming towards him.

"Hey." Danny stood from his seat, "Is everything okay? The kids alright?" Danny hadn't expected Linda to show up at work.

"Yeah. Everything is okay. The kids and I are fine." Linda smiled. She walked around Danny's desk to hug him close, "I just wanted to see you." 

Danny kissed her cheek, "You don't show up here unless you need something." He took her hand in his guiding her to his chair so she could sit.

"Okay. So I might have an ulterior motive." Linda grinned. She held up a take-out bag, "Have time for lunch?" She asked.

Danny sighed. As much as he'd like to sit with Linda and enjoy lunch together, especially on their anniversary, the case was taking a lot more work than anyone had originally thought, "Sweetheart, I would love to, but I really need to focus on the case. We are close to figuring out who Kathleen's parents are. The scene she was taken from was a robbery gone wrong. There was a party at the house that was robbed. She could be anyone's biological child. Most of the partygoers were murdered and those that survived the robbery and shooting don't recall who had a baby at that time. But I've narrowed it down to two families that had babies around the time Kathleen was born." Danny explained to Linda, "I just don't want to lose momentum on this."

Linda nodded her head, "That's great that you're making progress. Are both families around?" Linda wondered.

"One is in Utah and the other I haven't been able to locate." Danny told her.

"Let's hope things work out for the best. How does the family in Utah look?" Linda asked.

"Mom's in jail for possession, Dad's out on parole. Two siblings were taken into foster care at a young age." Danny sighed.

Linda squeezed Danny's hand, "Then it's a good thing she married Jack."

Danny nodded his head, "I was thinking the same thing."

"Lieutenant!" Officer Jericho knocked on the door, "Sorry Sir. Didn't realize you had company."

"It's alright. What do you have?" Danny asked.

"We talked to a few of the survivors of that party. One of them recalled seeing a couple walk in with a baby. They put the baby to bed in the master bedroom and joined the party downstairs. Said their name was David and Melissa but no clue what their last name was or if the baby was a boy or girl." The officer explained.

"Okay. That's good work. Thanks." Danny took the notepaper the officer had used to write down the information, "Honey, I have to get on this. It might be a link to finding out who Kathleen's parents are."

Linda nodded, "Okay." She was disappointed about not being able to spend their anniversary together however she understood that Danny was working on an important case. However, it still stung to spend the day apart, "I'll see you at home?" Linda asked.

"Yeah. I'll call you later." Danny kissed her cheek once again before picking up the case file to hunt for the names he was given.

Linda stood from his chair, hugging her husband, "Eat that before the lettuce wilts." Linda grinned, "I love you."

"Love you more." Danny smiled.

"Love you the most." Linda pressed a sweet kiss to her husband's lips. She shut his office door behind her as she made her way out of the precinct praying for good news and happy beginnings for her family.

* * *

Grace Reagan sat on the couch texting with her friend, Amy. They were making plans to meet at the mall later that evening to do some back to school shopping. Grace had already confirmed with her mom that she could go with Amy and her mom for a few house. Conversely, Amy had confirmed with her mom that Grace and her mom were going to meet her at the mall to go shopping together. Amy's mom knew Grace's family was full of police officers and was perfectly happy to drop her daughter at the mall to shop with Grace and Linda Reagan. What both mothers were unaware of was the plan hatched by both girls. They were planning on going to the new R-rated movie that both sets of parents had told them they weren't allowed to watch. They'd talked to a friend they met through the messenger app who said they could all get in if they went together. He said he was older than the girls but wanted to let them have a fun night out without having to deal with their parents breathing down their necks. Grace was a little more leery of trusting a stranger but her life had been so bad lately that nothing worse could happen. Besides, Daddy had shown her how to protect herself in case the guy was really creepy and Amy would be there. Two against one was always better.

"Mom, can we go yet?" Grace moaned for the fifth time in ten minutes.

"Spense needs a diaper change and then we can get out of here." Linda smiled, "Tell Amy's mom, thanks again for offering to shop around with you two girls." Linda said as she walked up the stairs not knowing that Grace had ignored her completely.

Thirty minutes later Linda pulled up the entrance of the mall Grace told her they were meeting Amy and her mom.

"Grace, I don't' think they are here yet. Honey, why don't I park and wait with you?" Linda looked around the crowded entrance of the mall.

"Grace!" Amy's high voice shrieked above the crowd. Amy ran over to Linda's car, leaning on the open passenger window, "Hi Mrs. Reagan!"

"Hi, Amy !" Linda smiled.

"Hey, Amy. See Mom. Thanks for the ride." Grace kissed her Mom's cheek and got out of the back of the car.

"Where's your Mom?" Linda asked Amy .

"She's making a phone call to my Dad." Amy lied, "She's inside where it's quieter. But she saw you drive up and said I can come get Grace."

"Where inside?" Linda asked looking for Amy's Mom.

"You know the couches next to the big black massage chairs?" Amy asked, "She sat down there to talk to my Dad."

Linda knew she wouldn't be able to see the chairs from her car, "Why don't I park and walk you girls in. It's really busy today."

"Mom. Please! I'm almost twelve!" Grace huffed, "We can walk into the mall together. It's not like we are five and need you to hold our hands. We'll be okay. I have my phone. We'll be fine." Grace said, "Please?"

Linda felt something funny in her stomach. Something was telling her not to leave Grace just yet. But she ignored it. Grace was right. She was getting older and by now the boys weren't always with Linda or Danny either, "Alright. But straight to Amy' Mom. Not messing around." Linda said, "You girls stick together. Have fun. I'll see you at home later. Amy, tell your mom I said thank you for taking the two of you out."

"I will, Mrs. Reagan." Amy smiled wide, "C'mon!" She grabbed Grace's hand. Linda stayed to watch the two of them enter the mall before pulling away and heading home. Had she known the girls were lying Linda would never have left her daughter or her friend. She would have listened to that gut feeling and stayed to protect her daughter. She would have taken both girls home and made sure they were safe and sound. While the girls thought they were being safe, they had no idea the man they'd just let into their lives just so they could have a night out without their parents around.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days. Work has been insane because of the holiday season. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to get another posted ASAP but it's really hard with work lately.


	9. Chapter 9

"I can't believe both of our moms fell for it." Grace Reagan laughed as she and Amy crossed the street to the movie theater. The movie theater they were meeting their online friend meeting them at was across from the mall. Hence their plan to be dropped at the mall by their mothers.

"Me either. I thought for sure you're mom was going to get out of the car and follow us." Amy smiled wide.

"Me too! She's so nosy! She wants to know where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, all the time! But my Dad is way worse. He actually  _would_ follow me." Grace huffed, "You're so lucky to not have a cop in the family."

"Okay. Where are we supposed to wait again?" Grace asked as they walked across the parking lot.

"Over there." Amy pointed to a few benches in front of the theater.

"Well, hopefully, he's here soon. It's  _so_ hot outside." Grace sighed. She flopped down onto the bench with Amy beside her. They only had to wait a few moments before they were approached by an older man. He looked to as old as her father. This couldn't be the friend they were talking to. Sure he said he was older than the girls but Grace thought he meant old like Amy's brother. Not old like her Dad.

"Hi, Grace. Hi, Amy." The man smiled kindly, "It's me, Trevor." He crouched down to be eye level with the girls.

"Hi." Grace wasn't too sure about this. Her gut was telling her this was a bad idea but she was with a friend. So maybe it was okay because there was two of them and only one of him.

"Hello." Amy stuck her hand out to shake his.

"Are you girls ready to go see the movie?" He asked.

"Okay." Grace nodded. It was too late to say no. And she and Amy really did want to see the movie. The two girls stood up from the bench and started to walk to the doors. The three of them walked up to the window, "The movie isn't playing for two more hours." Grace pointed out.

"Oh man!" Amy sighed.

"Oh no. How did I mess up the time?" Trevor grumbled, "Well how about I take you two girls to eat and then we can come back and watch the movie?" He suggested.

"Okay!" Amy readily agreed.

"Uh...I don't think we should get in your car." Grace shook her head. It was one thing to go to a movie but getting in a car with a strange man sent off red flags in Grace's mind.

"It's okay. We'll just go down the street. Not very far." Trevor said. He put his hands on the girl's backs urging them through the parking lot.

Grace picked her nails, "I really don't think we should do that." She frowned.

They reached the man's car, "C'mon Grace! I'm hungry and Mr. Trevor seems nice. Plus we'll stick together." Amy tugged on her friend's hand.

Grace looked from Trevor to Amy to his car. Amy was right. Trevor seemed like a nice man. And he hadn't made Grace feel unsafe. Just a little uneasy. Grace sighed, "Okay." She gave in to her friend's pleading eyes not to screw up their day out with no parents.

Trevor opened the back door to his van letting Grace and Amy climb in. Grace had no idea that she and Amy just made a grave mistake.

* * *

Kathleen Reagan was sitting on her and her husband's bed with photo albums strewn around her. Joshua and Elijah were asleep for their afternoon nap while Maddie played in her room. Jack had been at the precinct unofficially working the case with Jamie. Kathleen looked at photos from her childhood. Her parents holding her as a baby. Her sisters and her playing in the yard. Photos of Kathleen's high school graduation. How could her family be crumbling from underneath her? None of these people were related to her. And those she was related to were complete strangers. Kathleen looked up when a noise caught her attention. Jack was leaning on the door frame watching his wife.

"Any news?" Kathleen asked him.

Jack shook his head, "Nothing concrete yet. But Dad has a lead on two families that might be a possibility. We just don't know yet." Jack said. He walked towards their bed, "Maddie looks just like you." He pointed to a picture of Kathleen in a Kindergarten show.

"At least I know my kids really are mine." Kathleen said sadly, "But everyone else...I have no idea who these people are and who is my family. I have no clue who I am." She felt a tear slip out of the corner of her eye.

Jack cupped his wife's cheek, "You're my wife. The mother of my children. You're a Reagan. And you'll always have our family behind you." Jack wiped the tear with his thumb.

Kathleen slightly nodded her head, "What if there is some crazy disease that runs in my genetic family that I don't know about that I passed down to the kids? What if I have something that's going to kill me in ten years because I didn't know about it? What if my real parents are felons and wanted by the FBI? What if I wasn't even born in this country? What if I was born in Canada or something? What if I have a family and they've been looking for me all this time and force me to move back with them? Jack, there are a thousand possibilities that could happen and not all of them are good."

"First of all, you're married to me. So even if you're Canadian, they can't deport you when you didn't know you weren't an American. Second of all, no one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. That includes a family that wants you back with them. And you've had plenty of physicals and the kids too. I don't think there is some crazy genetic disease that's going to pop up just because we learned your parents kidnapped you. If your genetic parents are wanted by the FBI, then hopefully we find them but you had nothing to do with anything so nothing will happen to you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise." Jack wrapped his arms around his wife, "It's going to be okay."

"Do you promise?" Kathleen closed her eyes as her voice shook. She was terrified of the unknown.

"I promise." Jack rubbed her back gently praying for the best possible outcome.

 


	10. Chapter 10

"Sam! Faith! Stop fighting! Play the game nicely or I'll make you put it away!" Linda yelled at her twins. They were currently in the middle of a very intense board game between the two of them at the dining room table while Spense played in the living room the floor and Linda folded laundry. She frowned as she folded another pair of her pajama pants. No work lately meant Linda was stuck at home. She didn't feel comfortable in most of her clothes so her day was spent in pajamas or sweatpants. She was dreading her reconstruction surgery coming up. With Kathleen's parents getting arrested and finding out they had kidnapped her as a baby, the stress level in the house had spiked drastically. Danny was working around the clock but hadn't been able to figure things out. Grace's moods swung wildly and though Linda understood the hormones of a teenage girl, something seemed off about Grace's moods. Linda hoped her body would even out soon. Linda folded one of Danny's shirts grinning when she swore she could still smell him through the shirt. She hated that their anniversary was being spent apart. Everything seemed to be falling apart lately. First, the breast cancer ruined her birthday. Kathleen's parents and the case had taken over her anniversary. Then there was still the uncertainty of the reconstruction. Linda had a hard enough time accepting her breasts were gone. She wasn't sure how she'd feel once she was done with the reconstruction surgery. She wondered how Danny would react to Linda being whole once again. Linda picked up her phone when she felt it buzz in her pocket.

"Hello?" She answered cradling the phone between her ear and shoulder, "Hi Melissa....What do you mean?....I thought the girls were with you?...Grace said you were taking them shopping today...But I texted you last night to solidify plans...You texted me back....So the girls are at the mall alone?....I dropped Grace when Amy said you were inside on the phone...I didn't' think they were lying...She did?...Okay...I just have to load the kids in the car and I'll meet you over there...They probably both think they got away with shopping alone. I know I gave Grace fifty dollars because she said you were stopping for lunch so I wanted her to be able to pay for her meal so they can't have gone on too much of a shopping spree...Okay...I'll meet you there." Linda ended the phone call, "Faith! Sam! Get your shoes on!" Linda hollered at them, "We have to go get your sister!" Linda dropped the shirt she had in her hands into the laundry basket before turning to her pre-schooler, "C'mon Spense. Let's go find your sneakers."

"Boots!" Spense ran to grab his Spider-Man work boots, "Like Daddy's!"

"Okay." Linda nodded her head, "Wear your work boots like Daddy's." She helped Spense put his boots on while waiting for Faith and Sam to slip on their sneakers. She locked the front door before hurrying out of the house to head to the mall to find her daughter and her friend. Grace was going to be in so much trouble. Linda was never one to leave the kids punishment until Danny got home but Grace was toeing that line very closely.

* * *

Grace sat on Trevor's couch inside his home. He never took them to a restaurant to eat. He took them to his apartment. He told the girls he'd forgotten presents for them and convinced Amy that it was okay to stop by his apartment for a few moments. Grace didn't like it but she also didn't know how to get out of the situation.

"We're going to miss the movie." Grace complained. Amy had been gone to the bathroom for a long time now. Trevor was sitting beside Grace with his arm around her shoulders.

"We won't miss it. I promise." Trevor started to play with Grace's hair, "You have very pretty eyes." He smiled, "How's school going?"

"Good." Grace bit her lip.

"Yeah? How about at home? Last time we talked you said you were upset that your mom yelled at you. She just doesn't understand you, does she?" Trevor asked. Grace shrugged her shoulders not knowing what to say, "I understand. You're a woman now. You don't need your parents always telling you what to do." Trevor moved his hand to Grace's shoulder rubbing it gently, "I think your mom is scared."

"Of what?" Grace asked.

"You're so beautiful. Boys can be so mean to beautiful women like you." Trevor put his hand on Grace's thigh where the hem of her skirt sat, "She just wants to protect you from the boys that would hurt you." Trevor started to move his hand up her leg pulling her skirt up slightly.

"Where's Amy ?" Grace tried to pull away only to have Trevor grip her tighter.

"She'll be out in a few minutes." Trevor smiled, "Let's just sit here for a few more minutes." He slid his hand under her skit, slowly moving up her leg.

"I-I think I should check on her." Grace tried to get up.

"It's okay. It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you. You're just so pretty. I can't help myself." Trevor pushed Grace down on the couch.

"Please don't touch me." Grace started to shake in fear of what this man would do to her.

"It's okay. It will only hurt a little, then it will feel good. I promise." Trevor shifted placing his knees on the couch on either side of Grace.

"Adults aren't supposed to touch kids. Stop please." Grace started to cry.

"You're not a child. You're a woman." He countered. 

Grace looked around for a way out. She closed her eyes praying for an answer when she remembered something her father had taught them. Grace balled up her fists. She pulled her knee up and kicked Trevor between his legs as hard as she could with the heel of her foot. He sat up in surprise and pain. Grace used the space to slip out from under him, kicking him in the jaw pushing his head back with as much strength as she could muster. Grace wasted no time in rolling off the couch. She didn't look back at Trevor who swore at her and yelled. She raced to the bathroom finding it locked from the outside. She opened the door to the bathroom.

"Amy !" Grace yelled.

"Grace!" Amy jumped up from the floor. Trevor had locked her in the bathroom after she'd asked to use it for a moment.

"We gotta go!" Grace grabbed Amy's hand, pulling her to her feet. 

"You're not going anywhere!" Trevor yelled. He was off the couch storming towards the girls.

"Run!" Grace screamed. The two girls ran for the front door only to be blocked by Trevor.

"There's no way out. Now, why did you have to go and do that? I wasn't going to hurt you." Trevor loomed over Amy and Grace.

"Just let us go!" Grace yelled at him, "My Daddy's a Lieutenant! He will come save us!"

"I know your Daddy. And he can't figure out a simple kidnapping let alone find you. Besides, no one is looking for you." Trevor smiled eveilly, "There's no way out." 

Grace looked around the small apartment, "Fire escape!" She pointed. Amy ran for the window with Grace behind her. Trevor grabbed Grace's arm yanking her back to him, "AMY!" Grace shrieked.

"Let her go!" Amy screamed as she started to cry.

"You're going to make me hurt you." Trevor bear hugged Grace from behind trying to subdue her. He hadn't counted on Grace being trained in self-defense at only twelve years old. Grace kicked her leg back hitting him again between the legs. She reached her hands behind her grabbing at his hair on the side of his head. She pulled as hard as she could ripping chunks out, "You bitch!"Trevor dropped Grace to the ground in pain.

"Run! Go! Go!" Grace ran as fast as she could across the room to the window. She and Amy worked quickly to get it open and climb out, "Get down! Go!" Grace and Amy climbed down the fire escape as fast as their legs could carry them. Once on the ground beneath the fire escape Grace and Amy locked hands and ran out of the alley for the street. Grace had no idea where she was or where they were going but she knew they needed to get as far away as they could from Trevor.

* * *

Danny was sitting in his office with Jamie on the other side of his desk, "Kathleen's DNA didn't hit anyone in the system. Which leaves this couple that died at the scene as the only ones that could be her parents. But they aren't in the system so unless we can get their DNA or DNA from relatives to cross-match, we won't know it for sure." Danny sighed.

"Find any relatives?" Jamie asked.

"None so far. It's like the family was wiped out. There's no one." Danny frowned.

"What about this guy? He said he knew Scott when he was on the scene and was at the party." Jamie handed Danny a paper.

"Trevor Nickelson." Danny read over the paper. The phone on his desk rang loudly, "Reagan...What?!...When?!...Is she hurt?...Where is she?!...I'll be right there. Get unit to my wife and escort her to the hospital." Danny slammed his phone down.

"Danny, what's going on? Who is it?" Jamie was already out of his chair.

"Grace and a friend are at Mr. Sinai emergency department." Danny rushed out of his office.

"What happened?" Jamie asked.

"I'm not sure. Is Margaret working today?" Danny asked as they ran through the precinct.

"Yeah. I'll get her to see Grace." Jamie nodded his head. Jamie and Danny sped out of the parking lot one behind the other headed for the hospital.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Linda paced back and forth at the hospital while waiting to see Grace. The doctor was still finishing his exam and she'd talked to the officers that brought Grace and Amy in. Margaret was able to slip into Grace's room since she was working so Grace wasn't alone while the doctor examined her. Even though Grace swore she wasn't hurt, no one wanted to take any chances.

"Jamie, we need to find out who the Hell this guy is. Get units to his home, his work, anywhere he could possibly be. We need to get this guy. Now. I swear to God if I see him..." Danny's voice boomed from down the hall.

Linda looked over at Faith, Sam, and Spense who were sitting quietly while Spense watched a cartoon on the Ipad, "Don't move." She said to them, "Watch your brothers."

"Okay, Mom." Faith nodded her head.

Linda jogged down the hall to her husband, "Danny!" Linda felt a weight off her chest.

"Linda, what was she thinking?! He could have..." Danny shook his head, "Who is this guy? Did he hurt her? Did she give up a name? Description? Where did she meet him? She knows better than this? I'm going to take care of this, Honey. I'm gonna get this guy. He's not going to come after her again. He has no idea how I'm going to hunt him down. What happened? What lapse in judgment did she have to do something like this? How could she trust a stranger enough to get into his car? Did he force her into the car? Did he touch her? Linda, if he touched her I swear to God, I don't care what I have to do..." Danny started rambling.

Linda swore she saw a vein pop out of his head as he erupted. She could feel the intensity of his emotions radiating off him as he spoke, "Danny. Danny." Linda called him twice to get his attention.

"I'm going to go talk to her." He started to storm down the hall through the sea of Blue that was quickly filling the area.

"Danny. Stop." Linda put her hand on his chest, flattening her palm, "Stop. Just wait a minute."

"I'm not waiting." Danny shook his head.

"Danny, you can't see her right now." Linda put her other hand on his hip.

"She's my damn daughter." Danny said firmly, "They can not tell me I can't see my own child." Danny tried to push past Linda, however, she knew if she stood in his way he would never physically move her.

"She's in the middle of an exam. You  _can't_ see her right now." Linda took a deep breath.

"He hurt her?!" Danny's worst fears invaded his mind, "I'm going to kill him."

"Danny, just stop. Listen to me." Linda cupped his cheek, "Baby. You can't see her right now. Margaret is with her. She'll come get us as soon as we can see Grace."

"I promise. I'm going to get him. I'm going to kill the bastard." Danny swallowed the lump in his throat. He felt like throwing up but had to try and stay strong and in control.

"Breathe. Take a breath and calm down." Linda said gently.

"I don't need to. I'm going to talk to her and find out exactly what happened and where I can find this guy." Danny shook his head.

"You're not going to see her right now." Linda argued with him.

"Yes, I am!" Danny yelled at Linda. He was so angry, so determined, and Linda getting in his way was making things worse. Didn't she understand he was trying to help their daughter?

"No, you're not, Danny!" Linda stared at him, "You're not going to see her like this! She is terrified, scared, ashamed, and already upset. You go in there like this and it will make her shut you out and start crying all over again. So you're going to take a breath, calm down, and wait until they are done and we can see her. Then we'll hold her close, and figure it out from there. Danny, she needs you right now. She needs to know that you're not mad at  _her_. Yes, she shouldn't have concocted this plan for a day without parents. Yes, she shouldn't have talked to a strange man and either got in his car willingly or go with him willingly somehow. But we don't even know exactly what happened. So, let's just wait." Linda dropped her eyes to the floor, "Danny, I'm scared too but we can't go in there showing her our fear and anger. Or she will never tell us what happened. And it's  _so_ important that we know. I _know_ how she feels right now. I remember every time I was at the hospital after..." Linda closed her eyes tight as flashbacks of what her Uncle had done to her as a child ran through her mind. The times he touched her, forced her to touch him. How her first sexual experience was at the hands of a child molester. Linda held her breath hoping it would ward off the fresh tears she felt behind her eyelids. She felt Danny's arms wrap around her pulling her close to him.

"Oh, Linda." Danny buried his face in her neck, "I just keep praying she's okay."

"Me too." Linda clung to Danny letting the comfort of her husband bring her mind to the present where she was finally safe. The couple stood holding each other for a long moment before Linda spoke again, "Faith, Sam, and Spense are waiting too. I was on my way to the mall after talking to Amy's Mom when I was pulled over and escorted here." Linda explained, "We should go sit with them."

Danny nodded his head, "Okay." He wiped a stray tear from the corner of Linda's eye. Danny pressed a kiss to Linda's forehead before sliding his hand into hers. The two of them walked down the hall to where Jamie had found his way while they were talking. He was sitting beside Sam with Spense in the middle and Faith on the other side. Beside her sat Jack and Kathleen who had shown up as soon as they heard the news. Maddie sat on her mother's lap while the twins were strapped in their stroller. Sean and Lucy were on their way from Staten Island and Frank was off in a corner talking to the officers that brought Grace to the emergency room.

"Daddy!" Faith cried the second she saw him. She jumped up from her seat and hugged him tight, "Is Grace going to be okay?"

Danny let go of Linda's hand to hug his young daughter, "We're going to find out really soon. Okay?" Danny kissed her cheek, "Have you been good? Helping Mom with the boys?"

Faith nodded her head, "Yes. I helped Spense find a movie to watch and Sam likes it too."

"Okay. That's good to hear. My little Sunshine. Trying to make things better and be a helper." Danny hugged her close. Faith nodded her head, letting her Daddy lead her back to the seat she'd vacated. Danny hugged and kissed his boys, including Jack then Kathleen and his Grandchildren before kissing Lindasweetly, "I'll be right back. I just want to talk to the officers."

"I'll come with you." Linda said.

"Honey." Danny started to tell her to stay with the kids.

"She's  _our_ daughter." Linda gently reminded him.

"Yes. She is." Danny put a hand on the small of Linda's back as they walked to where Frank was standing with the two officers.

"Lieutenant. Mrs. Reagan." One of the officers addressed them, "I'm Officer Ramonas. I was the first to see your daughter and her friend run into the station."

"Officer Zimmerman." The second man held his hand out to shake Danny's.

"Can you guys tell me what happened? What do we got? Anything? Any lead at all?" Danny asked.

"The case is being referred to the Special Victims Unit. But I can give you our initial intake report." Officer Zimmerman said, "Your daughter and her friend ran into the One-Six precinct. They were both in tears and looking behind them screaming for help. Officer Ramonas was standing in the front hall and got to the girls first. Your daughter gave us her name, then your name. She was visibly upset and shaken. I came in as the second officer to them and talked to your daughter's friend. They said they met a man at the movie theater. He took them in his van to his apartment then locked the friend in the bathroom. He attempted to assault your daughter. After that, they both just broke down in tears and we couldn't get anything out of them. They were both so upset. Because of the possibility of assault we wanted to get her to an emergency room as soon as possible. We sent the call up to SVU and to the Captain. They'll be taking over from here." 

"Thanks." Danny nodded his head.

"Did they say who did this?" Linda asked.

"They didn't give a name. We asked but they just kept crying and were getting more and more upset. We thought it best to get them medical attention and let the Detectives question the girls." Officer Ramonas explained.

"Danny, Linda." Margaret called them, "The doctor is done with Grace's exam. He wants to talk to you two and then you can see her." 

Danny squeezed Linda's hand, "Okay." 

The two officers quietly stepped away letting Danny and Linda have some privacy, "I'll go sit with the kids." Frank said politely as he left his son and daughter-in-law alone with the doctor.

"I'm Doctor Xayio. I'm the Pediatrician on call for the Emergency Department today. I'm going to start with some good news. As you both know from what I gathered, you are the Director of Nursing over at New York-Prebetweryan?" He asked Linda who nodded her head wordlessly, "And I'm sure you've had your share of experiences Lieutenant. So you both know how we handle a case like this." Doctor Xayio said, "I want to let you know first and foremost, your daughter was not sexually assaulted. We did a vaginal exam and found no evidence of any assault. There's not even a bruise on her that would indicate anything of the kind."

"Thank God." Danny held Linda to his side.

"She has a few scrapes and cuts on her legs. She says are from when she tried to climb down the fire escape and were running. We did find some hair and skin fragments under her fingernails that the Special Victims detectives collected. Other than being scared and understandably, very upset, Grace is alright. Physically she's going to be fine. You can follow up with your regular pediatrician in a few days if you'd like but other than the few minor cuts and scrapes there's nothing physically wrong with her but I would have her talk to a child psychologist. This was a very intense experience and one that could have turned out much differently. She might need to talk to someone about that. She's very scared of being sent away because she's adopted and she disobeyed you both. I'd fear the low self-esteem will only get stronger over time in which we need to be proactive to prevent it from becoming debilitating and life-threatening." The doctor explained.

"She's okay?" Linda asked.

"She'll be alright. Just needs some time to relax and get through the mental pain that will continue for a short while." The doctor smiled, "You have a smart little girl there. She knew enough to grab for hair and scratch his face to get his DNA. That was her explanation when I asked her why she scratched the man so hard to get his skin under her nails."

"Can we see her?" Danny wondered. All he wanted to do was hold Grace tight and promise he'd make everything okay again.

"You can go in. I wouldn't let everyone in at once. It might overwhelm her and she's still very upset." The doctor warned, "I'll get her discharge papers ready."

"Thank you." Danny shook his hand before opening the door for Linda to walk in first. Grace sat in the hospital bed with Margaret next to her. Grace was picking at her nails when her parents came into the room.

"Hey Baby." Linda's voice shook as she spoke. 

"Thanks." Danny said quietly to Margaret closing the door after she exited the room, "Hey Ladybug." Danny smiled softly.

"I'm really sorry." Grace sniffled, "I'm so super sorry." Grace started to cry.

Linda automatically wrapped her arms around her daughter, "It's okay. You're safe now. That's all that matter."

"I'm so bad. I'm such a bad kid. I'm so sorry I'm so horrible. You can hate me. It's okay. I hate me." Grace sobbed.

Danny pulled his wife and daughter into his embrace, "Ladybug, we love you so much. Your Mom and I could never hate you. Ever. We love you. We're so glad you're okay. I promise nothing bad will ever happen to you again. I won't let anyone hurt you. I swear." Danny dropped a kiss to the top of Grace's head. He held two of the most important people in the word to him in his arms. He'd do anything to protect either one of them. He swore he'd never let anyone get close enough to hurt a hair on Grace's head again. He wouldn't let her become a victim. His family had endured enough. Grace was a child. As much as she wanted to be an adult, she was still a young child. She was already growing up too fast. She didn't need a traumatic event to push that sooner than anticipated. Danny felt his own tears as he held his crying wife and daughter. He held them close praying the man responsible for his family's heartache would soon be held accountable for his horrifying actions against Amy and Grace.


	12. Chapter 12

"Mom?" Grace sniffled, "Do I have to go downstairs?" Grace asked. Since the moment she'd been home neither one of her parents yelled at her. They didn't punish her for lying. In fact, Daddy had barely spoken a word and all Mom had said was she was happy Grace was home and okay. Grace took a shower when she got home. She didn't want to be in the hospital scrubs they'd given her to wear. She was sitting on her bed with her mother beside her. Grace had changed into a pair of comfortable lounge pants and a short sleeve shirt.

"No. Not if you're not comfortable. But everyone down there loves you, and is glad you're home safe." Linda reminded her.

"I just don't want everyone looking at me." Grace kept her eyes on the ground.

"Honey, we just want to make sure you're alright." Linda said, "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I already did." Grace had given her statement to the police with her parents out of the room. She didn't want to talk in front of them. She was too upset knowing she'd hurt them. As much as it hurt Danny not to be there for his daughter he knew that her statement was worth its weight in gold. So he relented leaving his little girl to talk to the Detectives alone.

"I know you did. And you did such a good job." Linda smiled warmly.

"Not good enough. I couldn't remember where he lived. I didn't look at the street sign. And I couldn't' really remember what his car looked like." Grace sniffled, "And he's going to try and hurt another little girl because I didn't do a good job and I didn't tell them enough." Grace wiped tears from her eyes.

"You did a great job." Linda hugged her daughter close, "You did the best you could and Daddy and I are so proud of you."

"Daddy hasn't even talked to me. He hates me doesn't he?" Grace cried.

"Daddy doesn't hate you. He loves you so much." Linda told him.

"But I lied to you. And to Daddy. Amy's brother showed me how to get my phone to let me talk to people online. And Amy and I talked a lot and then we started talking to other people. Then Trevor started talking to us and we told him we wanted to see a movie that we knew you and Daddy wouldn't let me see." Grace shuddered as she breathed, "And he said he could get us tickets. I thought he was like Jack or Sean or Amy's big brother. Not like an adult. And then he said he wanted to take us to eat and Amy got in the van and I didn't want her to be alone so I went too. Then he took us to his apartment and locked her in the bathroom. He tried to put a hand under my skirt. And I said no. Just like you and Daddy always said I should do but he didn't listen. Mommy, I don't know why he didn't listen to me. I said it loud and I tried to get away. Then he pushed me down and I kicked him. I kicked him really really hard and tried to run but he grabbed me so I scratched him and pulled his hair. And then we got down the fire escape and we ran and ran. And I don't know where we were going but we ran as fast as we could and I saw a police station so I ran in there. Then I told them Daddy's name and mine and I'm sorry Mommy. I'm so sorry." Grace sobbed.

"It's okay. It's okay." Linda hugged Grace, "You did such a great job. You remembered what Daddy and I taught you. And you helped save your friend. You did everything right to get out of that situation."

"I'm sorry I lied. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." Grace cried.

"I know you didn't. I know. And we'll talk about the lying later." Linda kissed Grace's head. She sat in Grace's room until Grace had cried herself to sleep.

Downstairs Danny paced around the kitchen like a caged animal. Frank had strictly forbidden Danny from working on Graces' case, stating that he didn't have a clear enough head to be involved. Jamie and Jack had joined the Special Victims detectives from the Sixteenth precinct.

"I don't see why I can't just go after this guy. How many times has something happened to someone else in the family? You've never benched me. What is the problem with this one?" Danny clenched his fists.

"Danny you can't go after this guy." Frank told him, "Jamie is lead on the case and Jack's right behind him."

"She's my daughter." Danny took a deep breath.

"And you threatened to kill him in the hospital before you even knew what he did or didn't do." Frank reminded Danny, "With Kathleen's case on your plate, I don't think you can handle a case involving Grace right now. Besides. You've got Linda's cancer to deal with. You don't need this case. We'll get this guy."

"He touched my daughter." Danny seethed with anger.

"And he will pay for his crimes. Just because he's not your collar doesn't mean we won't take care of this. But you can't touch it." Frank told him.

"He  _touched_ her." Danny shook his head.

"Danny." Linda walked into the kitchen.

Danny looked at Frank then his wife, "She alright?" 

"She fell asleep. But we need to talk." Linda said softly.

"I'll check on the kids." Frank slipped out the back door where Sean, Lucy, and Kathleen were watching over the little kids as they ran around the yard and played.

"He's not going to let me in on this case." Danny said angrily, "She's my daughter and he won't let me touch the case. There's more to it than what he's telling me and I don't know what it is."

"I heard." Linda sat on one of the high stools at the counter.

"If I ever see the bastard that hurt her, I'll kill him." Danny frowned.

"That's probably why you can't work on the case." Linda told him.

"He's never forced me to sit one out before." Danny said, "He says it's because I'm not able to handle the case. But he never tried to hold me back on any other case. Any time you were..." Danny stopped himself from finishing his sentence.

"He never stopped you from any of my cases because if he had you wouldn't have listened. He put Jamie and Jack on Grace's because you're not thinking clearly and Grace wasn't seriously injured. She's home, safe and sound with us." Linda finished it for him.

"I can't just sit back and do nothing." Danny leaned against the countertop.

Linda got up from her stool and walked over to Danny, "You're doing nothing." Linda took Danny's hand in his. She pried his fingers apart, slipping her palm against his, "You're being a good father. You're here for Grace and you love her. You're here to protect her and keep her safe." Linda kissed his cheek, "That's doing so much for her."

"It's not enough." Danny shook his head, "And we still don't know who Kathleen's parents are. Or who her sisters are." He sighed heavily, "I need to get back to the precinct." Danny said.

"Right now? " Linda asked.

"Yeah. I can't work on Grace's case so I'll work on Kathleen's." Danny kissed Linda sweetly, "I'll be home late. Love you." Danny slid his hand out of Linda's. Before she could protest he was out of the room and quickly out the front door of the house. Linda prayed for peace for all members of the Reagan family. She had no idea that in just a few short hours they'd find out exactly how close Grace's case and Kathleen's were entertwined.


	13. Chapter 13

"The girls couldn't have run for too long." Jack circled an area on the map from East 102nd Street where the Sixteenth precinct was located. He then expanded his small circle to encompass an area from East 96th street to East 106th, "That covers the surrounding area. I don't think they could have run that far and there's no other precinct in that area they would have run past." Jack explained.

"So how are we going to find which apartment they came from?" Detective Stabler from the Sixteenth precinct asked. He and his partner, Olivia Benson were called in to assist with the case. Seeing as how Grace Reagan and her friend turned up in their precinct they remained on the case to assist Jack and Jamie find out what happened to Grace and her friend.

"We went through all the apartments that have fire escapes in this area and came up with this list." Jack's partner, Detective Ingall's explained.

"Then we cross-referenced any with known sex offenders, rapists, and child molesters and shortened the list." Detective Jamie Reagan pointed to a set of people highlighted on the list.

"So you take half and we take half. Canvass the whole area?" Detective Benson asked.

"You take the North side of East 101st Street. We'll take the South side." Jack said, "Detective Yate's and Detective Reagan are going to take the West side of Park Ave."

"Sounds like a solid plan." Detective Benson stated.

"Alright let's go." Jack said. Each pair of Detectives grabbed their lists and headed to their cars dispersing out into three teams to canvass the area where the girls were found.

* * *

"You going to tell me why you called me on my night off?" Detective Maria Beaz sat in the passenger seat while Danny drove to interview a suspect.

"I needed a partner for the night." Danny smiled, "Besides, your new partner isn't nearly as good as I was."

"Is Grace doing alright?" Beaz asked Danny. Word had spread around the NYPD like a bad virus. Everyone was aware of what was going on with the Reagan family at the moment.

"She's home with Linda. Dad's there too to keep an eye on everyone. I left and Kathleen, Sean, and Lucy were there with the kids. She was asleep when I headed out." Danny carefully steered the car down the windy road.

"And you don't think you should be there too?" Beaz asked him.

"I need to do something." Danny sighed, "So this guy, Trevor Nickelson, he might be a key to finding out who Kathleen's biological parents are. While we're waiting for the lab test to come back, this guy was friends with Scott. He's got an apartment right in East Harlem. Thought we could talk to him and see if he can help us ID Kathleen's parents."

"How old is Kathleen?" Beaz wondered.

"Uh...twenty-nine." Danny quickly did the math, "Why?"

"Almost thirty years and you think this guy still remembers what happened?" Beaz asked.

Danny put the car in park, "Let's find out." He carefully stepped out of the car. Detective Beaz walked alongside Danny to the apartment complex.

"You got an apartment number?" Beaz asked him looking at the buzzers on the side of the building.

"Thirty-Eight F." Danny told her. They let themselves into the lobby of the building. Danny looked around as they walked to the elevators. The building looked as if it would fall down around them. The paint was peeling off the walls and there was a putrid smell in the lobby that neither Danny nor Beaz could place. They rode the rickety elevator to the third floor. As they walked down the hall Danny felt something in his gut tell him there was a problem. He quickly spotted the door to apartment Thirty-Eight F. It was slightly open but there was movement inside. Danny drew his weapon as Beaz pulled her gun from the holster at her side.

Danny stood at one side of the door while Beaz covered him from the opposite side. Danny silently signaled Beaz. Danny kicked the door wide open, "NYPD!"

"Hand's where I can see them!" Beaz shouted entering the apartment behind her former partner.

"NYPD! Don't move!" Danny raised his gun to the person making noise in the bedroom.

"NYPD!" They shouted back.

Danny looked closer through the darkness, "Jack!?" He lowered his gun, "What are you doing here?!"

Jack holstered his weapon. He and Detective Ingall's were canvassing the building when they were they talked to a group of prostitutes on the street outside the building. They told Jack and Detective Ingall's that they'd heard a commotion earlier while servicing a 'John' in the back alley. They weren't sure what it was but one of them saw two little girls running down the block. Jack was sure this was the building. He and Shayla walked through the building only to walk by the open door of apartment Thirty-Eight F. Finding the open door suspicious they decided to check things out. Jack's instincts were right. When he walked in he saw a familiar purse on the couch. He looked through the purse only to feel his heart drop. Inside the purse was a child ID card for Grace Reagan along with Courtesy cards for every member of the family that was on the force.

"We're checking the area for the apartment Grace and Amy were taken from." Jack explained, "What are you doing here?" 

"Questioning a man who was former friends with Scott Artuso." Danny told him, "This is the apartment of Trevor Nickelson." 

"We hadn't ID'd the guy that lives here yet. Just that Grace was here. Her purse is on the couch. The door was open when we got here. We thought something was wrong and decided to check it out." Jack explained, "We were getting ready to call it in when you two showed up."

"Call it in. If this guy is tied to both cases then we have a bigger problem than we thought. I'll call the Commisioner." Danny said, "We don't touch anything until we get CSU in here." As the senior officer he took control of the scene, "Detective Ingall's and Beaz, you two go see if you can find the Super.See if he can tell us where Mr. Nickelson went off to in such a hurry that he left the door open. Where are Detectives Reagan and Yates? And Detectives Benson and Stabler?" Danny inquired.

"Canvassing the surrounding area." Jack reported.

"Okay." Danny pulled his cell phone out already calling Jamie, "We'll set up new parameters and see if we can find any witnesses."

"There were three working girls out front when we got here. Said they saw Grace and Amy running down the block." Detective Ingalls told Lieutenant Reagan.

"Good. After you two catch the Super, see if you can find them and get more information." Danny instructed. The four NYPD officers broke into pairs as they started to process the scene that sat before them. Danny wasn't sure how they were connected but knowing that the same man he was hunting for information on Kathleen's kidnapping, was the same person that assaulted his pre-teen daughter made his skin crawl. Just how many years has this man been getting away with hurting little girls before he would finally be caught? Where was he? And how was Danny going to catch him?

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I played with timelines on this one. SVU/BB do not take place at the same time but in my world they do now. :) So anxious to see what you have to say at the end of this chapter. Tell me what you all think! :) And Happy Hanukkah!

As the day turned to night, Danny and the task force that had been set up to find Trevor Nickelson, were hard at work. They'd taken up the conference room in the fifty-fourth precinct as Danny held the highest rank amongst the group.

"Lieutenant." The desk officer knocked on the open door, "Someone out front for you."

Danny nodded his head, "Let's follow the financials and see if we can track this guy down." He said to the team before stepping out of the room, "Who is it?" Danny asked.

"Delivery guy. Said he was told to ask for you or Detective Reagan." The desk officer told him.

"I'm Lieutenant Reagan. Can I help you?" Danny asked him.

"I have a delivery for you." The man held up two large bags. He set them on the officer's desk.

"Who is this from?" Danny asked wondering who would send what looked to be enough food to feed the whole team.

"Uh...There was a note...Some woman came in and asked if we'd pass this along when we delivered...." The man looked through his receipt book, "Ah! Right here." He handed Danny the note. The note was in a small envelope with his name on the front. Danny immediately recognized the handwriting.

**'Come home safe. Love you.'**

Danny grinned when he read the note, "My wife." He said, "How much do I owe you?" He reached into his back pocket to grab his wallet.

"Nothing. Everything was paid for. She just wanted a guarantee we wouldn't lose the note. Must be something important in it?" He wondered.

"She's always important." Danny grinned, "Thanks." Danny grabbed the two bags of food and walked back to the conference room.

"That smells good. What is that?" Jack turned his head.

"Your Mom sent dinner." Danny smiled.

"What did she send over?" Detective Beaz asked.

Danny opened the bag, "Burgers and fries." 

"Mom's letting you have a greasy burger?" Jack teased his father. He knew his mom was trying to get his dad to eat healthier. He couldn't remember the last time she let him have something greasy and full of fat. 

"Isn't Linda on that no grease kick lately? Isn't that a dietary change for her too?" Jamie asked his brother.

Jack reached into the bag and pulled out the top box with a burger in it, "Awww you get your own special one." He slid the box across the table. On top, it had Danny's name scrawled in Linda's handwriting, "Turkey burger for you." He snickered.

"Laugh it up, Chuckles. When I'm still around and kicking at ninety-nine we'll see who laughs then." Danny tossed a napkin at his son.

"How does your family still have Sunday dinner every Sunday and there hasn't been a homicide yet?" Beaz asked astonished how the three Reagans could all rag on each other so easily.

"You have dinner every Sunday?" Detective Stabler asked as he grabbed a burger.

"Yeah. We all get together at my house. My Dad, Jamie's family, my family, Jack's family, my other son, Sean's family. We all go to church then have dinner together." Danny nodded his head.

"And your wife cooks for everyone?" Detective Benson asked astonished that the whole Reagan family got together that often.

"All of our wives take turns cooking. We cook sometimes. The Commissioner cooks a lot. Sometimes we'll grill out." Danny explained.

"That's because Mom won't let you use the stove without supervision." Jack muttered under his breath louder than he intended, getting a laugh from Detective Stabler.

"Keep laughing." Detective Benson teased her partner, "But wasn't it just two weeks ago that Kathy ran to the store and left dinner on the stove for you to watch and you burnt the rice, cementing it to the bottom of the pan?"

Danny grinned, "How do you burn rice? Even I can cook that?"

"I stepped away to check on my son who was playing in the other room and got preoccupied. When I got back the rice was already burnt." Detective Stabler shrugged his shoulders, "I ordered take out before she got home."

"How old is your son?" Danny inquired.

"He's eight. He called me in while playing some video game. He was excited he got past a level he'd been trying to beat." Stabler answered.

"I got one of those too. Only it's my daughter, not my son." Danny grinned.

"She's not that bad." Jack stuck up for his little sister, "Faith gets off the video game when you tell her too."

"Not since you and Kathleen got her that handheld one. Caught her sneaking it into her room at night the other night. She was up at three in the morning." Danny said, "But your Mom and I decided that when Gus' birthday comes around we'll find a nice noisy toy that doesn't shut off for your house."

"You can't do that." Jack shook his head, "We have enough of those."

"That's what Grandparents are for, Kiddo." Danny smiled wide.

"Must be a guy thing in this field." Detective Benson said to Detective Beaz.

"I think it's just a Reagan thing and Stabler is on board." Detective Yates, Jamie's partner said, "I'm child and wife free." 

"I can't say too much. I've got a few rugrats too." Detective Ingalls smiled.

"You don't know what you're missing." Jamie told them, "It's great having kids to go home to."

"He's right." Stabler nodded.

"I think I like a bottle of wine and a hot bath more. Maybe some company every once in a while." Benson grinned.

"Depends on the company you keep." Quipped Beaz.

Before the conversation could continue Danny's phone rang. The mood shifted in the room from taking a much-needed break from the case too serious in a second, "Reagan." Danny answered, "Great! What did you find out?" Danny asked, "What? Why?" Danny's brow furrowed as he spoke to the lab, "Alright. We'll be right there." Danny ended the phone call, "Elliot, Jack, the two of you and I are being called to the Commissioner's office."

"This late?" Stabler asked.

"That was the lab. The Commissioner has the results and is requesting a meeting with the three of us." Danny said.

"Why the three of us?" Jack asked.

"I don't know." Danny said honestly, "But let's find out." 

"While you guys are there Detective Ingalls and I will check in with TARU on traffic cameras to see if they've been able to spot Trevor's car." Benson offered.

"I'll get them working on his phone records." Beaz told them.

"I'll check in with Linda and the family." Jamie said knowing both Jack and Danny would want to check on their wives and children soon.

Danny nodded his head in agreement. He stood from his chair to walk out of the room with Jack and Elliot on his heels.

* * *

Frank Reagan started at the report in his hands. He knew the fall out from this was going to shake everyone's world and it was his job to not only keep his family stable but keep the NYPD stable as well. Frank looked up as Baker let Danny, Elliot, and Jack into his office.

"Gentlemen." Frank addressed them, "Please, sit." Frank gestured to the sitting area in his office.

"Want to clue us in as to what this is about?" Danny asked.

"I have the DNA results for Kathleen." Frank said.

"So that means it hit against someone in the system?" Jack asked for clarification, "Who is it? Is it someone in prison? Someone one of us has arrested?" 

"No. It's no one who has been arrested or in prison." Frank took a deep breath, "It actually hit a missing person case where we didn't have the child's DNA but we had both parents and an older sister."

Danny looked over at his father, "Was it a high-profile case?" Danny wondered why they were called to Frank's office so late at night.

"Detective Stabler..." Frank started to speak.

"She's my Kathleen?" Elliot's face had gone white as a sheet. In his, heart, he knew the answer.

"Detective, how old was your daughter when she went missing?" Frank asked.

"She was only six months old. Is it her? Is..your Kathleen...my Kathleen?" Elliot asked.

"Kathleen's DNA matches with that of you and your wife, Kathy." Frank told him.

Jack looked over at his father not knowing how to take the news that his wife was Detective Stabler's biological daughter, "You had a daughter that was kidnapped?" Jack asked.

"Oh my God." Elliot covered his mouth as he tried to keep control of his emotions. Almost thirty years later, his daughter was found.

"Can you tell us what happened? How did she get to Boston?" Frank asked him.

"My mom." Elliot breathed heavily, "My mom had bipolar disorder. She wasn't being treated and went through a manic episode. My wife and I went looking for her when she disappeared from her home. We'd never really been close but she's still my mom. I got a tip from a buddy of mine that she boarded a bus to Boston with a stop in Hartford. My wife and I followed the bus. I should have left her at home with the girls but she insisted she come along. Kathleen was only six months old and Maureen, my older daughter, was about two years old. I should have left them in Queens. We got to Boston and tracked down my mom. Got her in the hotel room with us and Maureen starts throwing up. Her temperature spikes and we can't get it down. Kathleen was asleep. My mom was half-asleep. She swore she wasn't manic." Elliot shook his head, "She promised she was okay. So we left to rush Maureen to the hospital. I thought she would be okay. I thought she'd be fine. I didn't know she'd...She took Kathleen. She got a call from a friend and she just took her. She went to a friend's house and there was a robbery that went sideways and Kathleen was gone. There was no sign of her." Elliot shook his head, "She just dissappeared. We didn't even know if she was alive." Elliot closed his eyes and breathed deep, "We stayed in Boston for over a month but we had to go back to work. Back to the City. We just...had to leave. And we never found her or anything. We looked for her. We looked so hard. But eventually, the case went cold. Are you sure?" 

"I had them retest three times." Frank told him, "I'm sure."

"Oh my God. I need to call my wife." Danny said, "I have to tell her. Oh God, what about Kathleen? How do I explain to her that I couldn't find her?"

"She'll understand." Jack said quietly, "She has been so terrified of not being wanted or having some serial killer for a parent. She'll just be relieved that her biological parents are good people who did the best they could to find her."

"My best wasn't good enough." Elliot shook his head.

Danny put his hand on Elliot's shoulder, "A fathers best is never enough when it doesn't yield the wanted results fast enough. But the fact is that Kathleen is a wonderful young woman. She's strong, intelligent, caring, a fantastic mother, she's the best wife I could have imagined for my Jack."

"We missed so much. We missed her life." Elliot said still in shock.

"But now you can be a part of it." Jack told him.

"You think she'll want us a part of her life?" Elliot asked one of the many people that knew his daughter more than he did.

"Of course." Jack smiled, "Want to see pictures of the kids?" He pulled out his phone.

"I'd really like that." Elliot nodded his head.

Jack shifted so Elliot could see his phone, "This is Maddie. She's our oldest. She's named after my mom's middle name. My mom's middle name is Maddalena, we named our first daughter Madeline. But we all call her Maddie. She is five and will start Kindergarten in a few weeks. She loves My Little Pony's and she's so smart. Just like her mom. This is Agustus, Gus for short. He's two. He will be three near the end of September. He is refusing potty training and spends most of his day in daycare playing with cars and trucks. Though his new favorite thing to do is scribble with crayons. He stopped trying to eat them. So Kathleen and I are counting that as a win." Jack chuckled, "And these two are our twins. Elijah and Josh. They are almost eight months old." Jack said, "And here is Kathleen and the kids. Oh, I've got a good one on here." Jack flipped through a few photos, "This is us on our anniversary last year. We'll be married five years this September." Jack told him.

"I missed her wedding. Four babies. We missed so much." Elliot said sadly.

"Now you won't miss anything." Danny said.

"I need to talk to my wife." Elliot said, "Can I just step outside to call her for a minute?" He asked unsure of how to move forward with so many thoughts going through his mind.

"Of course. Jack, Danny. Why don't you get Kathleen and Linda down here as well? I think this should be a family meeting." Frank suggested.

Danny nodded his head, "At least we solved one case." 

"We'll find this guy. He needs to answer to us for both Kathleen _and_ Grace." Frank told his son. Danny pulled out his cell phone to call Linda. He hoped that now with one case solved the other would fall in line. Trevor Nickelson's time was running out. He had two fathers after him and neither one was going to step down and cower away in fear as they hunted the man that hurt both of their daughters so deeply. Trevor was not only guilty of trying to hurt Grace, there had to be a reason he was at that party and didn't speak up when Kathleen went missing. Danny was determined to find the answer no matter what it took. He never wanted to see the look he saw on Elliot Stabler's face from anyone one else who lost a child to this man, again. Once was enough. To see the hollow eyes go wide and his face go white. Danny tried to imagine how he'd feel in Stabler's shoes only he couldn't place himself. The pain from imagining it was too great for Danny to put himself there. He just prayed things would go smoothly. He knew how rocky this was for Kathleen and hoped Elliot and Kathy would show her love, support, and affection from a closeness determined by Kathleen.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm running behind on updates for this story. Sorry! Holiday hours are really long and I've been swamped with stuff to do for the holidays.

Inside the NYPD Police Commissioners office sat Lieutenant Danny Reagan and his wife Linda. Across from them sat Detective Elliot Stabler and his wife Kathy. Police Commissioner Frank Regan sat in a chair between the two couples while they all waited for the only empty spot in the room to be filled by Detective Jack Reagan and his wife, Kathleen Reagan. Outside the double doors leading to his office stood the long-lost daughter of Detective and Mrs. Stabler. Kathleen paced back and forth, "This is really happening. Isn't it?" Kathleen looked over at Jack.

"Yeah. It is." Jack nodded his head, "Are you okay?" He reached out to take her hand only to have Kathleen avoid contact and continue to walk around.

"I don't know." Kathleen shook her head, "I mean, I know my parents kidnapped me. I know they were never my parents but they were. They took care of me, they fed me, they made sure I had a roof over my head, they were mom and dad and now..." Kathleen sighed, "Now I find out they took me. Stole me from two people who loved me and I have a whole new family."

"Elliot and Kathy seem like really nice people." Jack said, "I've worked a lot with Elliot. He's a good guy."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous." Kathleen picked at her nails, "It's just....meeting my birth parents and finding out I was kidnapped all in a few days time is a lot."

"You don't have to do this. I can go in there and tell them you're not up to this yet. Everyone will understand." Jack said softly.

"But if I don't do it now will it be harder or easier to do next time?" Kathleen countered, "Let's just get this over with." Kathleen walked back to her husband sliding her hand in his, "Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?" Jack wondered what she was talking about.

"For being the person that has stayed consistent through all this. You're the one that was here and is still here and isn't going anywhere." Kathleen explained.

Jack kissed his wife sweetly, "I love you."

"I love you." Kathleen smiled. The two walked hand in hand into the office. Jack held the door for his wife as she entered the room. All eyes turned to her and Jack making her feel even more nervous. Kathleen crossed the room to sit beside her mother-in-law strangely feeling closer to her than her own birth mother, "Hi." Kathleen squeezed Jack's hand.

"Oh my God. It really is you." Kathy whispered, "We're so happy to meet you."

"Likewise." Kathleen said. An awkward silence filled the room. Jack watched Kathleen shift uncomfortably, "I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say."

"Anything you want." Elliot replied quickly, "Anything you want to know? Or want us to tell you about? Anything you want to tell us about?"

Kathleen looked over at Jack then back to her biological parents, "When did you stop looking for me?"

"Never." Kathy answered, "We never stopped looking or hoping you were alive and well. In fact, when it had been a little over a year we were approached by the priest at our church who told us maybe it was time to let go and have a service for you but I refused to believe you were dead or that you wouldn't find your way home one day. And here we are now. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Your whole life was a lie and Elliot and I are here desperate for our baby back. And our baby has babies and is quite the young woman so, we just want to be a part of that too. If you'll have us." Kathy wiped away her tears as her emotions bubbled over.

"And I have no idea how you feel. If someone took one of my children from me I think I'd die. I love my kids so much. I can't imagine missing one of them for almost thirty years." Kathleen squeezed Jack's hand.

"We'd love to meet them." Kathy smiled warmly, "We don't have any grandchildren yet from our other children. We'd love to meet your babies."

"I wonder how we tell Maddie." Kathleen looked over at Jack.

"Use Grace." Linda piped up, "She's adopted and the kids know it. Tell Maddie that you were adopted and these are your birth parents. When she's older you can explain it more but she's only five. That's all she needs to know right now." Linda suggested.

"And Gus won't really understand but go with it and the boys are too little to know what's going on. They will grow up knowing Kathy and Elliot as your parents." Danny said.

"I want them to meet you and know you." Kathleen said, "You didn't have a choice when I was taken away. I don't want to keep you from your grandchildren too."

"That's so kind of you." Kathy said, "We don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do or are comfortable doing."

"Jack said that I have siblings. How many?" Kathleen asked.

"Two sisters and two brothers. Maureen is thirty-one. She is a teacher at John S. Hobart Elementary School out in Long Island. Then there's Lizzie and Dickie. They are fraternal twins. They are seventeen. Finishing high school and figuring out what to do next. Dickie wants to join the Army but we're trying to help him see if he really wants to join the service or go to college. Lizzie is ready for college. She's already gathering applications and finding out what schools she wants to go to. She wants to go to med school to be a doctor. And Eli is eight. He was our surprise baby. He is in third grade." Kathy told Kathleen about her siblings.

"Do they know you found me?" Kathleen asked.

"Not yet. We wanted to meet you first." Kathy said.

Kathleen nodded her head, "Parents, and siblings. A whole new family. Just like that."

"As much or as little as you want us." Elliot said, "We don't want you to feel overwhelmed or uneasy. We just want to be a part of your life. Anyway, you are willing to let us."

"I think it's just going to take some time to get my head around everything." Kathleen said honestly.

"Take all the time you need." Elliot took a deep breath, "Did they...I know they were wrong in taking you. They were so wrong for kidnapping you and all your sisters. But did they ever hurt you? We're they okay parents?"

"They were really strict. We weren't close. We didn't get along as much as Jack gets along with his parents. And when I married Jack and moved to New York they were furious. But I wasn't abused or anything like that. They were my parents. And even though we didn't see eye to eye and we weren't close they were still my parents. I wonder if we weren't close because I wasn't theirs." Kathleen said softly, "But they didn't hurt me."

"Good." Elliot nodded his head, "That's good."

Danny whispered into Linda's ear when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He quietly slipped out of the room while Kathleen continued talking. It was only a few moments before Danny was walking back into the room, "That was Beaz. We have a hit on the phone records." He said, "And TARU got his plate out on I-95 North towards Baychester."

"We going?" Elliot looked over at Jack.

"Let's get this guy." Jack nodded his head, "You going to be alright?" Jack asked Kathleen.

"I'm good. Go. Do police work. Come home safe." Kathleen smiled at her husband.

Linda stood to hug Danny, "You make sure you come home to me. And bring our son home safely."

"Always." Danny kissed her lips.

Elliot held out his hand for Kathy to take as she stood, "Love you." He said to her before chastely kissing her cheek, "Let me know you made it home okay." He instructed her. Ever since the car crash when Eli was born Elliot couldn't help the anxiety that filled his heart when Kathy got behind the wheel of a car.

The three men said goodbye to their respective wives before leaving One Police Plaza headed for the North corner of the Bronx in the hopes of catching the guy that made it possible for Kathleen's kidnapping and trying to hurt Grace Reagan. Trevor Nickelson had no idea that the thirty-five thousand officers that made up the NYPD were coming for him with one instruction. Stop the threat at all costs.


	16. Chapter 16

Danny pulled up down the street from the gas station where Trevor Nickelson's car was last spotted. Behind him was a flood of police cars. With the Police Commissioner's family being in danger of this man every cop on the force was after him. Danny was the first out of his vehicle, "Alright. We play this cool till he gets away from the gas station. Once he pulls out Officer Reagan and Officer Cruz will stop him as any other traffic stop. Detective Beaz, Stabler, Benson and myself will pin him in from the side and front while Detective Reagan and Detective Ingalls provide back up support for Officer Reagan and Cruz. Detective Yates and Reagan will provide support and backup from the front. ESU team A along with Sergeant Michaels will provide immediate support. No one hit this guy unless under my orders. Understand?" Danny asked taking command.

A chorus of 'Yes Sirs' ran through the officers gathered around.

Danny locked eyes with each of his sons silently making sure they were wearing their vests and understood what they were tasked with doing. Being an officer, Sean was tasked with one of the most difficult parts of the job. To stop the perp for a routine traffic stop. One of the most dangerous yet looked over parts of the job. When stopping a car for a traffic violation most cops had no idea what they were walking into.

Danny watched as Sean carefully set up his patrol car to stop Trevor Nickelson the second he pulled out of the gas station. As the officers set up ready for anything Sean kept his eyes on Trevor's vehicle. His little sister had been in this monsters house. His sister-in-law was kidnapped and this guy knew something about it. Sean had no idea what he'd do if it was Lucy. He watched as Trevor pulled away from the gas pump. Once he was on the road Sean lit his lights and siren. He pulled up behind Trevor Nickelson's vehicle. Sean felt something in his gut. Something was wrong. Trevor quickly jerked his car to the left spinning it around. Sean quickly followed feeling the patrol car spin its tires on the dirt alongside the road. Trevor's car sped towards the gas station followed closely by Sean's. Danny and the other teams caught up quickly offering assistance to Sean and his partner. Sean slammed on his brakes as he watched Trevor Nickelson's car spin out. Trevor lost control when his car hit the curb propelling it in the gas pumps. Sean tried to stop his car only to find he was too close. He turned the wheel hard to the right, the back of his patrol car slamming into Trevor Niceklson's.

Danny watched in horror as the gas pump exploded. The fuel poured over Trevor Nickelson's car instantly igniting the car on fire. He watched as Sean's patrol car crashed against Trevor's, the flames leaping from one car to the next, "Ten-Thirteen! Ten-Thirteen! Need EMS and fire! Patrol car on fire! Need FDNY forth-width!" Danny practically jumped out of his car to rush to his son, "Shut those pumps off!"

Sergeant Michaels and his ESU team charged onto the scene with fire extinguishers from the ESU truck, "We got two officers in there!" He shouted at his team, "Get 'em out!"

Jack quickly went to work cleaning the station of bystanders and pedestrians. No one expected Trevor to run his car into the gas station, "Go! Go! Move! Get back!" He pushed civilians out of the way forcing them behind a nearby building to take cover as the tires started to explode off Trevor's car.

"Sean! Alex!" Jamie yelled for his nephew and his partner, "Get out of the car!"

Inside the car, Sean knew he had to get out. He struggled with his seatbelt. He knew the car was on fire. He had to get out. Sean tugged at the seatbelt before pulling his knife from his duty belt. He sliced the seatbelt, cutting himself free, "C'mon, Alex. Let's get out of here." Sean turned to his partner only to see him sitting unconscious. Sean coughed deeply as the smoke filled the car, "Damn!" He cut Alex free, "Wake up Alex." The car shook as the back tires popped loudly. Outside he heard the shouts of his father and other officers. His uncle's voice yelled over the roaring fire. Sean kicked his door trying to break it open. In the crash, the locks had jammed, "Damn it!" Sean swore as he kicked as hard as he could.

Danny was the first to make it to the patrol car with a crowbar in hand. The flames quickly making their way over the top of the car, the LED lights shattering from the heat, "We're here Sean!" He called out praying for his son. Danny wedged the crowbar between the door of the car and the frame. He used all his force to try and pop the door open. He tried over and over only to find the door not moving an inch, "Son of a bitch!"

"Let me help!" Detective Stabler grabbed part of the crowbar, "On three. One, two, three!" The two men jabbed the crowbar into the police cruiser. Danny was sure it wasn't going to budge. It was too jammed against the door frame.

Sean kicked from inside the car as the backseat caught fire. He thought of his wife and kids and how he had to get out of the burning car. He planted both feet flat against the door hitting it two more times as hard as possible. Finally, the door popped open. Sean was grabbed by Jamie and pulled from the cruiser. Outside was filled with firefighters and waiting ambulances.

"Alex is hurt! We have to get her out!" Sean pulled from his Uncle's grasp.

"It's going to blow! Everybody get down!" One of the firefighters shouted.

Danny and Elliot barely had time to step away from the car before the fire consumed it. The police cruiser exploded with Officer Alex Cruz still inside.

* * *

Sean sat on his hospital bed tying his shoes. He wasn't staying at the hospital. He didn't need to. He was fine. They checked him out and found nothing more than some smoke inhalation. He didn't' need to stay in the hospital. He needed to talk to Alex's family. he had a wife and a baby on the way. He needed to talk to her. Alex was a good cop and didn't deserve the horrific way he'd lost his life. Sean shook his head. Not only did his partner die so did Trevor Nickelson. Taking with him all the secrets from Kathleen's abduction to attempting to assault Grace and Amy.

"Sean." Lucy stepped into the room. She'd been at her in-laws with her and Sean's kids when Linda received the call from Danny. Her heart stopped beating until she saw her husband with her own eyes.

Sean looked up from his sneakers, "I'm okay." 

Lucy crossed the room, "I heard what happened to Alex." She tried to control her tears. She hadn't grown up with police officers in the family. She wasn't used to someone she loved so dearly coming so close to death as a hazard of the job.

Sean pulled his wife into his arms, "I'm okay. A little shaken up. But I'm alright." He held Lucy close feeling her tears soak through his shirt, "It's okay, Lucy. It's alright."

"Oh, God...What if you had been killed?" Lucy cried. She loved Sean. More than she'd loved anyone in the world. Her family was everything to her. WIth everything they'd just gone through with Caleb, almost losing him. Losing their first baby together. Lucy couldn't bear the thought she'd lose her husband.

"Honey, I'm okay." Sean hugged her tight, "I'm not hurt." Lucy looked up at Sean, "I promise. I'm alright." 

"I can't imagine being in Shannon's shoes." Lucy shook her head. She felt horrible that she felt some sort of peace knowing it wasn't her husband that died today.

"I have to talk to her. Make sure she's okay. Alex said they just found out Shannon was pregnant." Sean took a deep breath, "I don't know how to tell her I didn't do my job and keep Alex safe."

"You did your job to the best of your ability. No one could have saved Alex." Lucy told him.

"Still. It was my job to watch my partners back." Sean squeezed Lucy tight.

"I'm so sorry Sean." Lucy knew from watching her family with their own partners how close they could be. Even her father-in-law who no longer had a partner was still around Detective Beaz, pulling her into special cases and giving her specific assignments. That was a bond not easily broken.

"I have to talk to Shannon." Sean pulled back from his wife's embrace, "I have to talk to her. See what she needs. She what we can do to help."

"Anything she needs." Lucy nodded her head, "We'll talk to her together."

"It's going to be really hard." Sean said honestly.

Lucy kissed her husband's lips, "It's okay. I can handle it." She rested her forehead against his.

"I love you." Sean wrapped his arms around her neck pulling her close. He didn't know what he'd do if something happened to him. What Lucy would do if something happens to him. He prayed that his family would step up and take care of his wife and children. He prayed they'd never be stuck with that burden. Now it was his turn. He had to step up for his partners wife. He had to be there for her. To take care of her. To help her through the most difficult time of her life and pray she'd forgive hiim for not bringing her husband home safely.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

The days slowly passed by. Sean stood in the closet of his and Lucy's bedroom. He adjusted his tie. Downstairs Charlie, Ava, and Emma were waiting for their parents. Lucy was sitting on the edge of their bed nursing Caleb before they left for the church. Today was the day of the funeral service for Alex Cruz. Sean stepped out of the closet fiddling with his cufflinks. He leaned against the dresser watching Lucy nurse their infant son, "I don't know how to do this." Sean sighed.

Lucy looked up from Caleb, "I feel so bad for Shannon." She said honestly.

"Me too." Sean crossed the room to where Lucy sat. He knelt on the floor beside the bed, "I don't know what I can do to help her."

Lucy shifted Caleb slightly. She reached her free hand out to Sean, "Just ask her."

Sean squeezed Lucy's hand, "I'll make sure the kids are ready." He sighed not ready to talk through the pain of losing his partner. He'd been to many officers funerals through the years. Not once did he think it would be his own partners.

* * *

Detective Jack Reagan walked through his house with Josh on one hip and Elijah on the other, "Maddie, c'mon honey! We have to get ready to go!" Jack shouted.

"One more minute Daddy!" Maddie yelled.

"I'll get her." Kathleen kissed her husband's cheek, "Gus is trying to tie his own shoes." She gestured to the living room.

"Eliott and Kathy are almost here." Jack told her.

"I know, I know." Kathleen rushed up the stairs to Maddie's room. Maddie's independence had been growing day by day. Today she was insistent that she get herself ready. Kathleen opened the door to Maddie's room where she sat on the floor trying to fix her dress, "Let me help." Kathleen smiled warmly.

"Mommy whoth coming over?" Maddie asked.

"Remember how Mommy and Daddy talked to you about how Mommy was adopted like Grace is?" She helped Maddie fix the dress she wanted to wear that morning.

"Yeah." Maddie handed her mother her hairbrush, "An' I have two aunts an' a uncle."

"Well, Mommy and Daddy have to go to something for Daddy's work so Mommy's sister going to come watch you for a little bit." Kathleen told her, "And I need you to be a really big girl. Help watch Gus. Mommy and Daddy are going to take Josh and Elijah."

"'Cause dery're babies?" Maddie asked.

"Because they're babies." Kathleen nodded her head, "Now up. We have to get ready to go soon."

"Okay." Maddie smiled wide. She skipped out of her room and down the hall to the living room where her Daddy stood with Elliot and Kathy Stabler. Lizzie sat on the floor already playing with Gus.

"Hi." Kathleen walked over to her husband to take one of the twins from his side.

"How are you?" Kathy asked politely.

"It's going to be a long day." Kathleen sighed, "Maddie, do you remember who I told you is babysitting? It's your Aunt Lizzie."

"My mommy says your mommy is her mommy 'bause she's adopated." Maddie sat in front of Gus.

"That's right." Lizzie smiled. She knew the story Kathleen and Jack had told their young children. While she didn't agree with the lie she respected someone raising their child however they thought was best.

"You be a good girl." Kathleen kissed Maddie's head, "Be a helper with your brother."

"Okay, Mommy." Maddie stood to hug her Mommy and Daddy before they left.

"Hugga Mugga!" Gus reached his hands up.

Jack picked up Gus hugging him close, "Love you." He said softly.

"Wub 'oo!" Gus grinned.

Jack set Gus back on the floor and picked up the diaper bag, "We should get going." He put his hand on the small of Kathleen's back. Jack shut the door behind him as they headed off to the funeral of a fallen officer.

* * *

After the service, Linda and Danny headed back to their home with their kids in tow. The day seemed to have worn Linda out. She wasn't sure if it was the heat or the mental exhaustion of knowing she could have lost her son. Linda leaned against the sink in hers and Danny's bathroom. Downstairs the kids were running around playing together while Danny changed in their bedroom. Linda took her earrings out, carefully placing them on the countertop. She took a deep breath. She felt dizzy all of a sudden. Turned on the cold water wondering if she'd overdone herself today. It was severely hot today. And the outdoor service had gone on for so long that Linda saw Lucy slip to the car with Caleb to sit in the air conditioning worried about heat stroke with a baby that young. Something was wrong. Linda could feel it. She shouldn't be this dizzy. She clutched the counter with hands, "Dan..." Linda closed her eyes tight, "Danny!" She called out before dropping to the tile floor.

Danny was pulling his shirt over his head when he heard Linda yell for him. He ran to the bathroom to find his wife lying on the bathroom floor slowly losing consciousness, "Linda. Linda. Babe. What happened?" Danny knelt down by her head.

"My head." Linda winced in pain.

Danny carefully felt Linda's head for any bump or contusion, "Okay. Did you hit your head?" Danny asked.

Linda coughed roughly, "Danny." Linda rolled to her side vomiting on the floor. Something wasn't right. She had no idea what it could be. She was too dizzy to think straight. Her head throbbed.

Danny started to panic when he felt her pulse racing. It was weak, he could barely feel it yet it thumped so quickly he couldn't count the beats per minute, "Okay, Linda. We're going to get you a bus. We're going to get you checked out." Danny rubbed his wife's back. This wasn't just any illness that seemed to have struck his wife. His first thought was some type of cardiac arrest but it didn't seem like any regular heart attack. Linda's head felt hot to the touch, she was burning up. Danny pulled his phone out dialing nine-one-one, "It's going to be okay Linda. You're going to be okay." Danny promised, "This is Lieutenant Danny Reagan with the NYPD. I need a bus to 870 Harbor View Terrace in Bay Ridge. My wife fainted, needs a bus forthwith." Danny watched helplessly as Linda vomited again. He prayed the bus would get to his wife soon. Linda was continuing to fade. She was barely coherent. Danny was terrified that whatever was causing her symptoms would send her into a downward spiral that she'd never recover from.


	18. Chapter 18

Danny Reagan paced back and forth. The second the ambulance got to the house Linda was quickly whisked away with Danny behind her. Outside Jack had seen the commotion from his house and ran the short distance to his parents. Danny yelled for Jack to watch his siblings while climbing into the back of the ambulance while Frank followed in his car. Now Danny was stuck in the waiting room. Waiting to see what was wrong with his wife. Waiting to see what happened. Waiting to see if she woke up. She'd lost consciousness in the ambulance on the ride over. Danny watched her eyes slowly close as she drifted away. Danny overheard Frank softly talking on the phone to someone. Probably Jack or Sean. Or maybe even Jamie. Danny left the house in such a rush he really didn't pay much attention to anything or anyone except Linda. 

Danny sighed loudly, "What is taking so long?"

"They said they'll come get you once they know something." Frank reminded his son, slipping his phone into his jacket.

"It's been forty-five minutes." Danny looked at the clock for the hundredth time, "They should know by now."

"I bet they're just making sure they dot all their 'i's and cross all the 't's." Frank tried to clam his son, "Why don't you sit for a few minutes?"

"I can't sit." Danny shook his head, "You didn't see her. She was so out of it. She was talking but it wasn't making sense. Then she just closed her eyes." Danny recalled the scary moments in the ambulance where Linda had started to ramble only it wasn't making sense. It wasn't even words she was saying, it was all babble as if she was hallucinating, "She fainted in the bathroom. And she kept saying it was her head. She threw up twice before I had the chance to call a bus. What did I miss?" Danny blamed himself for not seeing how sick Linda was until it was too late.

"Nothing." Frank insisted, "There's no blame here. You got her help as soon as you could."

"Not soon enough." Danny walked back and forth. It was another twenty minutes until Danny saw Linda's doctor headed his way.

"Lieutenant." Dr. Newfeld, Linda's Oncologist, walked into the waiting room.

"Is she okay?" The words tumbled from Danny's mouth automatically.

"She's going to be fine. She'll need to stay for a while but she doesn't need to be admitted yet." Dr. Newfeld smiled warmly.

"What happened?" Danny asked.

"She had a bout of sunstroke." Dr. Newfeld told him, "How long was she outside today?"

"A while." Danny tried to think of exactly how long Alex Cruz's service was, "We attended a funeral and it was all outside."

"It was a little over one-hundred today at the peak of the day." Dr. Newfeld looked down at Linda's chart, "Because she's still recovering from the surgery it puts her at a higher risk for these things. Until she has the reconstruction surgery and is fully healed from it, I'm going to have to suggest that Linda limit her time outdoors and be conscious of her liquid intake as well as her body temperature. When she was brought in, her body temperature was over one-hundred-and-five degrees." Dr. Newfeld explained, "What you need to understand is that this isn't just a case of Linda got overheated and sick. If the person's body isn't cooled down quickly, heatstroke can cause the brain and other vital organs to swell causing irreparable damage to the organs. It can also cause death. Should this happen again, you need to try and cool Linda down as quickly as possible. Put her in the shower or tub. Put cool packs between her armpits, behind the knees, on her neck, and groin. Get her inside or in the shade. Cool her down by any means necessary and get her to a hospital where we can give her IV fluids in addition to decreasing her body temperature. This can kill her and it kills people every year. This is not something that doesn't happen. It happens often but it's preventable by taking the necessary precautions."

"She could have died?" Danny breathed out. He'd considered that possibility in the back of his head multiple times since seeing his wife on the bathroom floor but it hadn't sunk in yet. He didn't realize just how close he'd come to watching his wife die.

"Yes. But you got her help in time. Next time do what you can at home to start the cooling process and still call an ambulance to get her here as quickly as possible." Dr. Newfeld instructed him.

"Oh my God." Danny shook his head, "I didn't notice she was so sick."

"It's okay. It's not something one looks for, unless they know to look for it." Dr. Newfeld said softly. A nurse walked over to Dr. Newfeld handing her a slip of paper, "I'll make sure you both have some information on heatstroke before you leave. I was just informed that she's awake and asking for you. Let me take you to her." 

"Thank you." Danny turned to his father, "Dad, can you..."

"I'll call the family." Frank smiled at his son, already knowing what he was going to ask.

"Thanks." Danny nodded his head. He quickly followed Dr. Newfeld to Linda's room. Danny stepped into Linda's room immediately noticing the cooler temperature.

"Hey." Linda grinned at her husband.

Danny made his way to her bedside pulling up a chair, "Hi Baby." Danny kissed Linda's forehead, "How do you feel?"

Linda took a deep breath, "Stupid." She said honestly.

"What?" Danny's brow furrowed in concern.

"I should have known what was happening to me." Linda shook her head, "What kind of nurse let's this happen to her?"

"Honey, it's not your fault." Danny took Linda's hand in his.

"It is though." Linda frowned, "I'm a nurse. I'm trained in these things. I should have felt my body temperature rising. Felt something was off. But I didn't. How could I miss this?" Linda shook her head, "I was so busy thanking God that it wasn't our son in that casket today that I almost killed myself because I sat outside for too long. And none of this would have happened if it wasn't for the cancer." Linda hated the cancer in her body with a vicious disgust. She hated that it took her breasts. That it took the last part of her that felt like a real woman after the hysterectomy. Linda hated that she had to wear a prosthesis everywhere she went in public or fear people noticing she was missing her chest. Everything bad that happened to her she could tie to the cancer. Somehow, someway she was sure the cancer was the cause of her problems.

"Linda." Danny shifted to sit on the bed, "You didn't almost kill yourself."

"But I did. I didn't notice what was wrong with me and if it hadn't been for you I could have died." Linda shook her head, "How stupid is that?"

Danny slipped his arms around her, "You're not stupid. No one is perfect. No one knows everything and from what I understand you weren't exactly lucid so you can make a judgment if you weren't able to think properly." Danny kissed her cheek.

Linda leaned into Danny taking solace in his arms, "I hate this so much." Linda's hands clenched his shirt.

"What do you hate?" Danny ran his fingers through her hair. He had no idea Linda was so upset, "Sweetheart, talk to me." Danny half-begged, half-asked his wife. Now that he could see how upset she was he was committed to doing anything he could to help her.

"Having cancer." Linda whispered, "I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't feel good. I hate this so much. The cancer ruined my birthday. Which was fine. I was going to get over it. Then we spent our anniversary apart. And I'm only half the woman I once was." Linda shook her head, "I feel so...vunerable and scared and I don't know how to stop it." Linda confessed.

Danny tightened his arms around his wife. It hurt to hear her tell him she was scared. It was his job to protect her. To keep her safe, "What are you scared of?" Danny asked. If he knew the threat Linda saw he could eliminate it.

"What happens if there is a complication during the reconstruction?" Linda asked, "I don't want to leave you and the kids." 

"You won't. Nothing is going to happen. Dr. Feldman has been over this with us and I'm sure she'd be willing to do it again. When they do the surgery, it's going to be a routine surgery." Danny reiterated what the doctor had told them time and time again.

"I've seen patients die from routine surgeries." Linda pipped up.

"And I've seen you go through so much only to come out in the end. Because you're a fighter. And you never stop fighting for the kids, and I." Danny countered, "Linda, I'm not going to minimize your fears because this is scary. It's uncharted water for both of us and I don't know how I'd survive without you." Danny tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "But I know that no matter what I'll always be here. I'll always keep you safe. I'll always do whatever I can to make things better for you because you deserve so much more than I could ever give you."

"I'm not even a  _real_ woman anymore." Linda's eyes dropped to her lap.

"You're all the woman I ever need." Danny hooked a finger under her jaw tilting her head up to see her eyes.

"I almost killed myself because my body didn't regulate my temperature properly and I sat outside for too long." Linda reminded him of the details of their ER visit.

"And here I was thinking you needed to be cooled down because of how hot you are." Danny flirted with a grin.

"How long have you been holding onto that one?" Linda cracked a small smile.

"Since I found out it was the sun that made you sick." Danny pecked her lips.

"I love you so much." Linda locked her hands behind Danny's neck.

"I love you more." Danny grinned.

"I love you the most." Linda sighed softly. She pulled Danny closer pressing her lips to his. Linda melted into Danny's warm embrace wanting nothing more than to stay wrapped in his arms until the feeling of helplessness, despair, confusion, guilt, and shame left her alone. She wasn't sure why her emotions were overflowing so rapidly. All Linda knew was that she was desperate for her heart to stop the roller coaster it was on. She wanted nothing more than to feel like herself again and know that her family was safe, happy and loved. Something wasn't right. Linda could feel it. Deep in her soul. She knew something was waiting for them. And whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good for any of them.


	19. Chapter 19

August slowly passed with Kathleen spending more and more time with her biological parents. She wanted to get the chance to know them and her subsequent siblings. Jack stood by her side through it all. Sean took a leave of absence from work. Unable to shake the loss of his partner. Lucy was ready to pull the hair out of her head with her husband being home all day. As much as she loved him, Sean never stood still. He was always tinkering around the house with his newfound free time. Gus and Spense both started pre-school together, while Maddie, Emma, and Ava started Kindergarten. Charlie moved to second grade where he was excited to get his own locker. Faith and Sam were in their last year of grammar school and split into separate homerooms for the year. Grace started seventh grade with a better understanding of stranger danger and why her parents wouldn't let her go out on her own. Still shaken by her experience with Trevor Nickelson, Grace Reagan declined to participate in an extra curricular activity this sememster. Margaret finished out her first trimester with the new baby. They were thrilled to learn their newset bundle of joy would be a girl. Danny wasted no time in teasing his little brother about having more women in the house than men. Linda's reconstruction surgery was due in a few days. Life was slowly settling back to normal for the Reagan family. No one expected it to shatter in front of them.

* * *

The night before Linda's surgery she couldn't sleep. Linda lay in bed beside Danny. She turned to one side only to roll to the other. Linda sighed as she started to get out of bed.

"You okay?" Danny reached out to her.

"Yeah. Get some sleep." Linda whispered. She slipped out of bed.

"Babe." Danny sat up in bed.

"Danny. I'm okay. I just can't sleep." Linda said, "I think I'll make a cup of tea."

Danny watched as Linda walked out of their bedroom. He slid out of bed to check on the kids before she returned hoping he'd be able to figure out what was wrong when she came back to bed. She hadn't been able to sleep all night. Which meant Danny hadn't been able to sleep. He knew the surgery was weighing heavily on Linda's mind. He'd be a liar if it wasn't weighing on his as well.

Ten minutes later Linda was still sitting at the kitchen table. She had taken a couple sips of her tea but got lost in thought after a few moments. She didn't hear Danny enter the kitchen behind her until he gently put a hand on her shoulder.

"Linda?" Danny asked, "Honey. Are you sure you're okay?"

Linda startled slightly at Danny's touch, "Yeah. I just..." Linda sighed not knowing how to say what she was thinking, "I'm just anxious I think." She said. Danny pulled up a stool to sit beside her. He took her hand in his, softly caressing the back of her hand with his thumb, "Tomorrow, everything changes. Again." 

"What do you mean?" Danny asked trying to get Linda to elaborate.

"Tomorrow they do the reconstruction. My body changes again. And I don't know what that's going to look like or feel like. It's going to change my life again. It's going to change everything. Me....Us...How you see me. It's like when we first found out I had cancer. You can't say things didn't change. They did. The way everyone looked at me changed. I don't know what this new change will bring." Linda explained.

"Honey." Danny slipped an arm around her waist, "Nothing will change between us. I will forever look at you like my beautiful, amazing wife who I love more than anyone in the world. That's never going to change." He flashed her a smile, "And while yes, your body will change,  _you_ won't. You'll still be a wonderful mother. So caring and kind. The smartest nurse around. All this surgery will do is change the way you look. Do  _you_ want this surgery?" Danny wondered. It never occurred to him that the elective reconstruction might not be what Linda wants.

Linda nodded her head, "Yes. I do. I don't feel good about myself and I know it's because I don't look like I think I should."

"Then you're doing this surgery for you. To make you feel better. To love your own body. And that's all that matters. Babe, this doesn't change anything besides your body shape. And anyone who treats you differently because you have the reconstruction isn't someone who truely loves you and accepts you." Danny tucked a stray strand of hair behind Linda's ear, "Things might change but it's going to be for the better because you'll feel better about yourself." Danny kissed her cheek.

"What if they feel different?" Linda bit her bottom lip. She couldn't help the worry that having false breasts would turn her husband off when they made love.

"Different how?" Danny asked.

"I don't know." Linda shrugged her shoulders. She hadn't really though about it, "Different to you. What if you hate them?"

Danny tried to hide his smirk. How could Linda ever think that he wouldn't love her body no matter what shape or if it was fake? He cupped her cheek, "There is not an inch of your body I don't love. I love you. All of you. And when the surgery is over, I'll love even more of you. Baby, it's not your breasts I fell in love with." Danny reiterate the sentence he found himself saying before her double mastectomy when she panicked about not having breasts at all, "I fell in love with  _you_." Danny kissed her lips sweetly, "C'mon. Why don't we get back to bed?" Danny could see the bags settling under Linda's eyes. If she had any hope of not feeling like she was run over by a bus tomorrow she needed to get some sleep. Danny slipped the mug from Linda's hands knowing fullwell she'd never drink the lukewarm tea. He placed the cup in the sink before taking her hand, "I'll rub your back until you fall asleep." Danny offered. He knew that if he rubbed her back for a while she'd fall asleep under his touch.

Linda let Danny tug her up the stairs to their room, her surgery still on her mind and her stomach in knots over something she couldn't put her finger on. But whatever it was, no one would be prepared for it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took FOREVER to get out. I got really sick before Christmas then the holidays happened and work was insane. I've finally gotten some downtime to sit and write. Hope you enjoy the chapter!! :)

Linda's surgery went perfectly. She was nervous going under the anesthesia so they allowed Danny to scrub up and sit by her side. Linda drifted off with one of Danny's hands holding hers and the other running his fingers through her hair. His forehead resting gently on hers as he whispered softly into her ear. The surgery took longer than expected, it made Danny worry even more than he already was. He knew the surgery was considered routine but he still felt uneasy knowing his wife was lying on an operating table. Anything could happen. When the surgery went over by forty-five minutes Danny was sure something had happened. They'd sent a nurse out to talk to him but it didn't ease the concern. When Linda was finally in the recovery room Danny finally felt some relief. There she was. She was asleep, lying in the hospital bed with an IV but he was able to touch her, hold her hand, kiss her cheek. He knew she was going to wake up once the medication wore off. Linda was released the following day and instructed to take it easy and rest. Not to life anything and not to work herself too hard. She found it difficult to sit still. She'd spent most of the summer sitting around the house recovering. Linda wanted to get back to work. She wanted to get back to being the active mom she always was. As fall rolled in Linda was cleared to go back to work being sure she was resting and not lifting. Linda stood at the foot of her bed still in her bathrobe. A towel wrapped around her hair kept the wet hair from dripping onto the carpet in the bedroom. She'd walked out of the shower ten minutes ago but still hadn't gotten dressed. Nothing felt  _right_. She knew her coworkers were aware of what she'd been through. She hadn't been out unless it was absolutely necessary since she'd had the mastectomy. Since she'd had the reconstruction she'd only been to home and church. Work was new. She was going to go back and have to see everyone look at her with sad eyes and rush to help her. She knew her limit. Danny had made sure Linda rested up at home and doted over her wanting her to feel better. Her chest stung and burned when she overdid it. She promised Danny she was going to sit and do paperwork most of the day until she was cleared to resume normal activities. Linda picked up a shirt she'd thrown on her bed earlier and huffed. It wasn't going to fit right. She didn't want to wear a button-down shirt. She didn't want to feel any more constricted than she felt with her bra on. Linda picked up a second shirt before tossing it back into the pile. This was harder than she thought. 

Downstairs Danny was clearing the table from breakfast with his children. The kids had all eaten and were getting ready for school.

"Grace, don't forget your book over here." Danny pointed to Grace's reading book she'd left on the kitchen counter.

"Thank you, Daddy." Grace grabbed the book and stuffed it into her backpack.

"Hey, I heard there is a school dance coming up?" Danny asked her, "A Daddy-Daughter dance. It's this Saturday."

"Oh yeah." Grace flashed a small smile, "I uh...Didn't really think about it. It's okay if you're working. I don't want to go anyways." Grace shrugged her shoulders.

"Why don't you want to go?" Danny tilted his head to the side trying to figure out what was bothering his daughter.

"I don't know." Grace slid her backpack on.

"Grace, C'mon! We're gonna miss the bus!" Faith yelled from the front hall where she was helping Sam tie his shoes. He'd been working with the occupational therapist with his fine motor skills. Shoe tying was hard for him. He could do it but it never was tight enough and it he almost always had to re-tie his shoes by the time they got to the bus stop.

Grace bit her bottom lip as she looked up at her father, "I just don't want to."

"Okay." Danny nodded his head, "Why don't we talk about it later?" Danny followed Grace out of the kitchen to the front hall, "Go on. I'll watch you three walk down the street." Danny opened the front door. He made sure each kid had their backpack and jackets before they left the house. Danny hugged each of his kids and kissed their cheeks. This year was the first year the kids walked to the bus stop without one of their parents. Grace and Faith promised they'd watch over Sam while they walked. Plus the bus stop was moved from the corner of the block to only two houses down the road. Danny and Linda felt they could give the kids a little more freedom especially seeing as how the bus stop was so close to the house. They watched the kids from the front steps get on and off the bus each day with Spense waiting anxiously for the day he'd get to ride the big bus to school. Right now he was still be driven to and from preschool. Danny walked back in the house, "Alright. Almost time to get you to school." Danny's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and sighed heavily. There was an officer-involved shooting. The officer from his precinct wasn't injured but it had been captured on video from a bystander's cell phone and Danny was needed at work as soon as possible. And he still had to get Spense to preschool.

"Danny? You still here?" Frank walked down the stairs. He'd taken part of the morning off work only to be called in to deal with the same incident Danny was just paged about.

"Yeah. I just found out about Officer Milston." Danny said, "I have to get Spense to preschool and see what's holding Linda up. She was supposed to be out of here a half hour ago." Danny said.

"Want me to get Spense to preschool?" Frank offered, "I can drop him on my way in."

"You sure that's not out of your way?" Danny knew One Police Plaza wasn't exactly in the direction of Bay Ridge Christian Academy..

"It's fine. Go check on your wife. Then come by my office. An hour good?" Frank had been a lot more lenient on Danny lately. Danny had shown up to work late and left early. He'd even rescheduled meetings when necessary. Danny was sure it was because Frank knew what was going on with Linda. He supposed it also had to do with his mother. His father always said his biggest regret was not taking the time he should have to spend with Danny's mother when she got sick. Danny felt like no matter what he sad his father would be willing to give Danny any time he thought he needed if it was because Danny needed that time with his wife.

"I'll call you." Danny said. He crouched down to zip Spense's jacket up, "Grandpa is going to take you to school. But I'm going to come pick you up at the end of the day. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy!" Spense smiled wide.

"You be a very good boy and have a fun day. Mommy and I love you." Danny hugged his baby boy tightly, dropping a kiss on his head.

"Bye-bye Daddy! Wuv 'oo!!" Spense's small fingers clutched his father's shirt tight before letting go.

Danny watched his father and son walk down the steps, towards Frank Reagan's detail unit. Danny shut the front door behind him as he turned to walk up the stairs concerned for his wife. He couldn't imagine what was taking her so long to get ready for a hard day at work in which she'd spend most of her day in her office alone. Danny quietly entered his bedroom. He frowned seeing the pile of clothes strewn across their bed. Their bathroom door was wide open but the light was off. Danny walked further into their room, spotting Linda sitting on the floor next to the bed. Still in her robe and her hair still in a towel. She looked like she'd lost a battle. He wondered if she was having second thoughts about starting work on this day. He knew they told her to come back whenever she felt up to it that they wanted her healthy and feeling better before she pushed herself back to work. Linda's knees were bent with her forehead resting on the tops of them, "Babe?" Danny called out.

Linda let out a large sigh, "Yeah?"

"You okay?" He walked around the bed to sit beside her.

"I can't go to work." Linda looked up at him.

"Okay." Danny nodded his head, "Then don't go today. They'll understand." Danny put a hand on her back rubbing small circles, "They told you to come back when you are ready and to take your time."

"It's not that." Linda shook her head, "I feel ready. I just can't find anything to wear that fits right and that's comfortable and that I feel like myself in."

"Well, that explains all the clothes out." Danny bobbed his head up and down, "Want some help?" He asked.

"You can't help. I have nothing to wear that will not feel like it's constricting or tight on my chest and what doesn't feel tight isn't really work appropriate." Linda frowned, "It's hopeless."

"Let me see what I can do." Danny kissed her cheek. He stood from the floor surveying the clothes on the bed.

"There's nothing there." Linda told him, 'The button-down blouses are too tight. The blue blouse just doesn't fit the way it should. That brown sweater is going to be too warm. And the rest of those either are too tight or constricting or I just don't like the way they feel. And it's really weird still. To not feel my breasts even though they are there. It's just weird and I hate it. And now I have no clothes to wear because nothing feels the way it should." Linda rambled.

"What have you been wearing?" Danny asked her hoping to get a general answer to help guide her through the sea of clothing on their bed.

"Pajamas." Linda shook her head, "And I can't wear those to work."

"No, but you can wear this. Especially since you'll be in your office all day and not seeing patients." Danny plucked a sweatshirt off the corner of the bed. He knew he'd at least get a smile out of his wife when she saw the NYPD sweatshirt he was holding.

"That's yours." Linda grinned.

"Yes but I don't think I've actually worn it in years. _Someone_ keeps stealing it to wear." Danny smiled at her.

"Well, I like that it's yours. And you wear it. When it doesn't smell like you anymore and I need you to wear it again so I can wear it." Linda grinned.

"See. It will be loose enough that it won't bother you. It will be comfortable and it's going to be chilly so you'll be nice and warm in it. And it still smells like me." Danny smiled wide at his wife. 

Linda thought about what Danny was saying. He had a lot of good points, "I guess." Linda took the sweatshirt from her husband, "Now I just need to find my pants." Linda stood looking through the clothes she'd tossed around in her haste to find something to wear. Danny handed Linda her pants she'd placed at the foot of the bed, "What would I do without you?" Linda asked honestly.

"Still be sitting here wondering why you have no clothes to wear yet you have a closet full and a bed full of clothes." Danny smirked.

"I love you." Linda kissed her husband sweetly before quickly changing. She was running late this morning. After being gone from work for so long Linda wanted to make sure her first day went off without a hitch. So far she was falling short but she was determined to make up for lost time. She was commited to making her first day back at work count for something. After all, it wasn't every day she beat breast cancer.


	21. Chapter 21

As September passed into October the Reagan family seemed to be getting back to normal. However, there was one person who wasn't quite themselves. Grace Reagan was withdrawing into herself more and more every day. After refusing to go to the father-daughter dance she started not wanting to participate in any school activity that wasn't during the course of her normal day. She continued saying she just wanted to stay home and be with her family that she didn't want to do anything social at school. Linda carefully watched her daughter for any sign of distress. When Halloween came around, Grace cited her being twelve years old as the reason she didn't want to dress up. No matter what they tried Danny and Linda couldn't get Grace to agree to trick or treat with the family as they did every year. Jack had even come over to talk to his sister. They were always so close to each other. Often if Grace didn't talk to her parents she went to Jack. But even he struck out. Instead, Grace offered to help her big brother, Sean, and his wife, Lucy with Caleb. Sean picked Grace up on his way home from work to let her stay home with Lucy and Caleb. Caleb was born so early and so tiny that Sean and Lucy weren't comfortable bringing him out on such a cool night when he was so tiny. Instead, Grace was on candy duty handing it out to trick or treaters while she and Lucy watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Grace happily slept over her brother's house that night excited that Halloween had fallen on a Friday night. Sean was happy to let his little sister sleepover for the night. It had been a long time since Sean and Grace got any time together without one of Sean's kids or one of their siblings tagging along. Sean made up the couch for Grace while Lucy was upstairs tucking Charlie, Emma, and Ava into bed for the night.

"You sure you don't want to sleep upstairs with the girls?" Sean asked his little sister.

"I'm sure." Grace smiled, "This is good."

"Okay." Sean tossed a pillow onto the couch, "If you need something you know you can come get me or Lucy, right?"

Grace nodded her head, "Yeah." She looked around the living room. It hadn't hit her until this moment that she'd be the only one on the first floor for the whole night. Maybe she should have slept in Ava and Emma's room tonight. Too late now. Sean had already put sheets on the couch and settled the girls in bed.

"I was thinking before I bring you back home tomorrow we could stop and have breakfast, just me and you. We haven't done that in a while." Sean smiled. As much as having a little sister bothered him when she first arrived, he didn't know how he'd handle life without her. Grace was a special bridge for Sean and Jack. She's the one between Sean and Jack and the rest of their siblings. Grace was the middle child who brought both sets of children together. There was something special about her that both Jack and Sean couldn't pinpoint but wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

"I think I just want to go home tomorrow." Grace frowned, "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. You don't have to be sorry." Sean put a hand on her shoulder, "Do you want to go home now? It's late but Mom and Dad won't mind."

"No. I want to stay. I don't want to go to breakfast." Grace bit her bottom lip.

Sean watched his sister staring at her feet as if the most interesting thing she'd ever seen was happening before her eyes. He sat on the edge of the couch careful not to mess up the blankets, "What's wrong?"

"Nothin'." Grace shrugged her shoulders.

"Something's wrong." Sean pointed out, "C'mon, Grace. You can talk to me."

"You'll just tell Mom and Dad and I don't want to make them upset again." Grace sighed.

"Why would they be upset?" Sean asked.

"Cause they  _will_ be." Grace closed her eyes feeling them start to water.

"How about you tell me what's bothering you and if I think Mom and Dad need to know because they're Mom and Dad I'll tell them so you don't have to worry about upsetting them. And if it's something they don't really need to know, I won't tell them." Sean suggested.

Grace shook her head, "It's not a big deal." She pulled the blanket back on the couch to slid under it, "Can I go to sleep now?" Grace wanted the conversation to be over. She didn't want to talk to Sean about it. He'd tell Mom and Dad. She just knew he would.

"Okay. Of course, you can." Sean smiled at his sister. He stood from his spot on the edge of the couch, "You know if you wake up late and you want to talk, come wake me up. Okay? If you need anything at all. You can come wake me up. I promise it's okay. Or if you want you can talk to Lucy. She's a really good listener." Sean tucked his little sister in, "We love you. And Mom and Dad love you. And Grandpa. Uncle Jamie and Aunt Margaret. We all love you so much, Grace." Sean kissed his sister's cheek.

"Love you too." Grace turned her back to her big brother to hide the tears in her eyes. if he saw her cry she'd never get him to go upstairs. She wasn't even sure she knew what was going on. Everything was so jumbled up and messed around. She felt out of sorts and confused. What she really wanted was to stop feeling so scared all the time and start feeling like the happy, upbeat, girl she'd always been. Grace prayed she'd find herself soon. Later that night Sean Reagan would wake up with a jolt. His little sister's loud scream from his living room would shock him back to reality and push him to be downstairs, gun in hand, ready for anything that could have caused the blood-curdling scream he heard. Only it wouldn't be something he could handle with a weapon. It would be something he'd never considered was a problem until he saw how shaken and scared Grace was.


	22. Chapter 22

Sean Reagan lay in bed with his wife tucked into his embrace when a loud shriek woke him from a sound sleep. Sean's quick jolt shocked Lucy wide awake beside him.

"What's wrong?" Lucy gasped.

"Stay here." Sean quickly unlocked the nightstand drawer. He pulled his gun out loading it without blinking.

"Sean. Who screamed like that?" Lucy flipped on the light beside their bed.

"Just stay here. I'll go check it out." Sean made sure to shut the bedroom door behind him. He walked down the hall noting his children's doors were shut and the hall looked undisturbed. He made his way downstairs. As he walked down the steps he realized the noise coming from the living room. Grace was crying. Sean sighed with relief. He quickly took the steps two by two back up to his bedroom to let Lucy know it was Grace and he was going to check on her as well as to put his gun away. When Sean walked down the stairs a second time Grace had turned to face the back of the couch. Her sobs were quieter but Sean could still hear her. He walked closer to the couch turning on a small lamp hoping the light would help Grace feel more comfortable. Out of habit, he checked the locks on the front door, "Grace. Are you okay?" Sean asked.

"I'm fine." Grace nodded her head.

"You're crying. And I heard you yell. Did you have a nightmare?" Sean asked.

"Not really." Grace sniffled, "It was just like a bad memory or something."

"A bad memory of what?" Sean pushed Grace to talk to him. Grace turned and sat up. She kept the blanket tucked tightly around her body as she fidgeted, "Whatever's on your mind, you can tell me. It's okay."

"Even if they aren't good thoughts?" Grace asked.

"Anything." Sean said comfortingly.

"I keep remembering what happened. With that man. And how he touched me and kept trying to touch me more. And I scared everyone and Amy got hurt. And it's scary. And I know he can't hurt me but it's still scary. And Mom and Dad don't care." Grace let it all fall out. She'd been holding her thoughts in for so long that the second she opened up she couldn't stop, "And no one cares. Everyone is just mad because I did a dumb thing by going out with Amy and no adult. And they are mad because I scared them. No one really cares. I shouldn't even be adopted anymore. I was so bad." Grace's self-hate rose to the surface along with her tears.

Sean's heart broke for his little sister, "First of all, Mom and Dad care. I promise they do. They care so much. They love you. They are probably still scared and that makes them upset. But they love you. They'd never give you back. You've been their baby since the day you were born." Sean hugged Grace close, "Do you want me to talk to them for you? Maybe I can see if they are mad at you or just scared still." He suggested, "And second of all, We all care about you, Grace. I care. Lucy cares. Jack and Kathleen care. Grandpa. Aunt Margaret and Uncle Jamie. We all care so much. We love you, Grace. There's no one that could ever take your place.No one wants you to go away. We love you. Life wouldn't be complete without you." Sean said softly, "And third of all, memories can be scary."

"Daddy's never scared." Grace pouted, "Or Jack or you. You guys are never ever scared."

"Of course we all get scared. Dad was scared when we couldn't find you. And Jack was scared for Kathleen. I was scared when I got into the accident with Alex. Alex died. RIght next to me. I was scared I'd never see Lucy and the kids again. Or you, Faith, Sam and Spense. Or Jack. Or Mom and Dad." Sean sighed.

"Is that why you don't work now? Because you're scared?" Grace inquired.

"Is the reason you don't want to do anything after school like a club or something is because  _you're_ scared?" Sean asked. Grace nodded her head slowly, "Me too." Sean confessed, "I don't want to get hurt or die and leave Lucy and Charlie, Ava, Emma, and Caleb."

"Daddy's been hurt and he's still a policeman." Grace said.

"Yeah. Same with Grandpa, Jack and Uncle Jamie." Sean nodded his head. He watched as Grace picked at her fingernails, "How about I make you a deal. I'll go back to work if you talk to Mom or Dad about what's bothering you."

"They won't care." Grace shook her head. She didn't think anyone really cared for her. Despite what Sean was telling her.

"They will. I promise they will care about what you have to say." Sean stuck out a hand for her to shake.

"What if they don't?" Grace asked. Part of her said Sean would never lie to her but she couldn't bring herself to blindly trust.

"Then I'll talk to them." Sean wiggled his fingers for her to see hoping his answer was enough for her to trust him.

"Okay." Grace took a deep breath, "I'll talk to Mommy." She shook Sean's hand.

"Good. Now lay down and I'll tuck you back in." Sean smiled.

"Can you sit until I fall back asleep?" Grace asked.

"Of course I can." Sean grinned. He tucked in his little sister and sat on the floor, "Close your eyes. I'll stay here until you fall asleep." Sean told her.

"Thanks, Sean." Lucy snuggled under the covers.

"Of course." He smiled hoping she'd be able to fall back asleep with him sitting beside the couch until he could hear her softly snoring behind him.


	23. Chapter 23

The following morning Sean drove his little sister home. Grace fidgeted the whole way home. Sean parked his car on the street in front of the Reagan house, "You ready?" He asked Grace.

"I guess so." Grace shrugged her shoulders. Grace unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her backpack. She followed her big brother into the house. Inside they heard Sam and Spense playing loudly in the playroom while Faith was sitting on the couch watching TV. Frank was sitting next to Faith explaining the plot of an old Western he was watching while Faith sat interested in the old movie.

"Hi, Grace! Hi, Sean!" Faith smiled wide.

"Hi." Sean hugged Faith, "Hi Grandpa." Sean greeted his Grandfather.

"Did you have fun at Sean's?" Frank asked Grace.

"Yeah. It was nice to hand out candy." Grace replied.

"I got a  _ton_ of candy! Mom and Dad said we can't have it all right now but there's a whole bucket for everyone! You missed all the fun!" Faith told her big sister.

"I had fun. And Lucy and I watched a bunch of Halloween movies and she made mummy hot dogs on sticks, like corn dogs. They were yummy." Grace said.

"Not as yummy as the candy apples." Faith said.

"Where'd you get those?!" Grace sighed. She wished she'd been able to get a candy apple.

"Mrs. Peterson made them for the neighborhood." Frank said, "I think your Mom and Dad have one for you in the kitchen."

"Really?!" Grace gasped in surprise.

"Go check. They are both in there." Frank grinned.

"Thanks, Grandpa!" Grace raced to the kitchen her worries momentarily forgotten. She opened the kitchen door with Sean behind her, "Hi Mom! Hi Daddy! Did you get me a candy apple?!"

"Hey, Ladybug." Danny scooped his daughter into his arms. She might be growing up but she'd never grow out of his hugs, "Were you good for Sean and Lucy last night? Good behavior?"

"I was good. I think." Grace looked over at Sean to confirm her thought.

"She was awesome. Lucy said she was a big help to hand out candy and keep an eye on Caleb. And when the kids and I got home she was a lot of help watching the baby while Lucy and I got the kids to bed." Sean smiled.

"That's good to hear." Linda kissed Grace's cheek, "And yes. Daddy got you a candy apple from Mrs. Peterson." 

"Thank you, Daddy!" Grace hugged her father tight.

Sean looked at his mother to his father to his sister wondering how to bring up Grace needing to talk to one of them. He didn't want to push her but he also didn't want to let her get out of it because it was uncomfortable, "Hey, why don't we go sit down for a few minutes." Sean put a hand on Grace's shoulder.

"Everything okay?" Danny looked at his son.

"Grace?" Sean asked her. Grace's chin immediately dropped to her chest. Sean knew she didn't want to talk but he also knew she had to tell their parents what she was feeling before things got worse, "Yeah. I'm pretty sure. But Grace had a few things she wants to talk about but is a little scared to do it alone. So I told her I'd help." Sean explained.

"It's nice outside. Why don't we go sit at the picnic table? That way the little kids can't disturb us." Linda smiled warmly. On the surface she was calm but her mind was racing with thoughts of what could possibly be wrong with Grace.

The four Reagans walked out the back door onto the patio where they each took a spot at the picnic table. Sean sat next to his little sister who stuck to his side as if she was attached, "Grace. Do you want to talk first?" Sean asked.

Grace closed her eyes so she couldn't see anyone, "I had a bad dream." She said.

"A dream about what, Honey?" Linda gently asked.

"It wasn't like...a real dream. It was like a really bad memory." Grace pouted. I remember the man. And how he put his hand on my leg. And tried to move it up my skirt. And I know what he was trying to do. And I woke up Sean and Lucy when I remembered it." Grace felt her eyes water.

"Oh, honey." Linda sighed softly, "It's okay. Sometimes bad memories come around. Especially when you're sleeping or tired."

"I don't think Sean or Lucy are mad that you woke them up. That's why they are the adults. To help when you have a problem." Danny reminded her.

"But it's not just that." Grace sighed. She started to sniffle. She didn't want to talk but she knew if she didn't, then Sean would.

"Ladybug." Danny squeezed Linda's hand tight. This was difficult for both of them. To watch their daughter so distraught.

"I'm scared." Grace cried.

"Of what?" Danny asked. There were certain things Danny Reagan was prepared for and certain things he was not. His daughter being scared, he could fix that. he could make sure she felt safe and protected. After all, he could have half of the NYPD out his front door with just a few phone calls if that's what it took to make Grace feel safe.

"The man." Grace bit her bottom lip.

"Ladybug, that man can't hurt you. He can't do anything to you. He died. He can't hurt you. No one can. I promise." Danny swore.

"Daddy's always going to make sure you're safe. And Grandpa. Uncle Jamie, Sean, and Jack. And every police officer in New York City knows who you are and would do anything to make sure you stay safe." Linda said softly.

"It's still scary." Grace cried, "And it was my fault." She confessed, "If I didn't go out with Amy and be stupid, then he wouldn't hurt me or Amy. It's my fault. I shouldn't have been so dumb."

"You're not dumb, Grace." Linda tried to talk to her daughter.

"Yes, I am! And nobody cares about me! And I made you and Daddy mad and scared! And I scared everyone! I made everyone mad at me! And now no one cares and no one loves me and I shouldn't even be adopted because I'm so bad! I hate myself because I was so stupid!" Grace sobbed loudly. Linda's heart shattered listening to her daughter explode. How did she miss what was going on? Linda looked over at Danny who looked shocked to hear their twelve-year-old so violently yell at herself, "And I-I tried really really hard to be good. I don't do anything at school and I stay home so no one can get me and no one can hurt me and you don't even want me to do that! You want me out of the house because you hate me but it's scary and I don't want to go! I don't want you to give me away. I'm just so stupid and dumb." Grace covered her face with her hands as she cried. Sean put an arm around his little sister pulling her into a tight hug. He was the closest one to her and she needed someone to comfort her.

"Oh, Grace." Danny sighed softly. He got up from his seat across from his daughter. He walked around the table, crouching down in front of her seat, "Sweetheart, your Mom and I, love you so much. You are so special. Honey, you're not stupid and dumb. You're a young girl who made a mistake. It was a big one. And it was scary for everyone, especially you. But it was just a mistake. That's how we learn." Danny rubbed Grace's back.

Linda came to sit on the other side of Grace. Sean slipped away from his sister letting his father take his spot, "Grace, we'd never give you away. You're our little girl. We love you, Grace. Everyone in this whole family loves you. We wouldn't be a whole family if you weren't here."

"But bad kids get taken away from their families when they are adopted." Grace sniffled.

"Who told you that?" Linda asked.

"Tommy Valletti." Grace said, "He said that because I'm adopted and I was bad, the CSP people were going to take me away."

"CSP?" Danny asked, "Who is that?"

"Like uh...the people who work with Kathleen." Grace looked up at her father.

"Do you mean CPS? Child Protective Services?" He asked her.

"Yeah. Them." Grace sniffled again.

"They don't take bad kids away." Danny shook his head, "They are the people who take kids away from bad parents. The take the kids and put them in foster homes or group homes or even find them a family to adopt them. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you're going to get taken away from Mom and me."

"You're so loved, Honey. We care so much about you. That's why we were so scared and upset. Because we love you and don't want anything bad to happen to you." Linda said.

"If we didn't care we wouldn't have worried." Danny told her, "But we love you so much we were terrified that you were hurt. And when you showed up at the police station and told them who you were, the second I knew you were in safe hands I was so relieved. Because I knew that things would be okay. I knew that you were safe and you might be hurt but you were alive and that was  _so_ important. My little Ladybug was going to be okay."

"We don't hate you, Grace. We love you. Everyone in this family loves you." Linda hugged her daughter.

"I hate myself for making you and Daddy mad and scared." Grace told her.

"I've made Daddy scared and mad a lot of times." Linda smiled softly.

"You have?!" Grace's eyes went wide.

"I have." Linda nodded her head, "And Daddy still loves me. And Daddy's made me scared and mad a lot too. But I still love him. Because you can be scared or mad or upset. But you work out the problem because you love the person. And the love is more important than being scared or mad or upset with them." 

"But I didn't listen to you and Daddy." Grace's bottom lip quivered.

"I know. But we had a long talk and you got in trouble for not listening. You were already punished for it. You don't need to keep punishing yourself for a mistake." Danny rubbed her back.

"Is this why you've avoided anything at school?" Linda asked.

"Kinda." Grace nodded her head, "I don't want to be away from home." 

"Why?" Danny asked.

"Because someone could hurt me and you're not there to keep me safe." She said matter of factly.

"You're safe at school." Danny said gently.

"But it's not the same. It's not home." Grace took a deep breath through her tears.

"No. It's not." Linda said, "If you're not comfortable doing something at school or after school you don't have to do it. But if Daddy or I can help you feel better about it, you just let us know and we'll see what we can do to help you."

"I just don't want to. I just want to go to school and come home." Grace pouted.

"Okay. Then you can do that." Danny smiled softly.

"REally?" Grace asked in surprise.

"Yes." Linda nodded her head.

"And if you feel like you hate yourself or you don't like yourself, talk to Mom or I. I promise we will listen to anything you have to say." Danny said.

"But I'm scared." Grace shook her head, "What if you don't like what I think?"

"Then we can discuss how to replace those bad thoughts with good thoughts." Linda soothed her daughter, "Hey, I have an idea. You know how I talk to a doctor. Every week Daddy and I go together. You remember me telling you about that?" Linda waited for Grace to nod her head, "Do you think it would help you if you had someone to talk to like that? Not family but someone who can maybe help you with those bad thoughts and help you with being scared and afraid?" Linda asked.

"I don't know." Grace had no idea what she should expect. She knew her parents saw a doctor once a week. She also knew her mother took pills every day and where she could find them. Grace had been shown the medicine cabinet and told where the medicine was in case there was an emergency and Grace had to call nine-one-one. She'd know where to show the paramedic her mother's medications.

"Do you think it might be something you could try?" Danny asked. He'd grown up in a family where medication and therapy were unheard of. However, going through Linda's depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and ideations. Through her mental health roller coaster that had filled their lives over the last ten years, he realized that it wasn't just taking a magic pill to feel better. It was hard work that they both needed to learn and work through to get Linda back to the person she once was. And so help him, if Grace needed that help, he'd stand beside her, holding her hand through whatever was thrown at her.

"I guess so." Grace picked at her nails.

"Was there anything else bothering you Grace?" Linda asked.

"I just don't like being scared." Grace wiped her wet eyes with the pads of her fingers.

"What can I do to help you not be so scared?" Danny asked Grace for direction.

"Uh..." Grace thought long and hard about his question before answering, "Do you pinky promise not to give me back?" She asked in a small timid voice.

"I'll do better than a pinky promise. How about a big hug?" Danny asked her.

Grace nodded her head before half launching herself at her father, "I'm sorry Daddy." Grace cried into his chest.

"Sorry for what Grace?" Danny wrapped his arms around her.

"For thinking you'd give me away." Grace cried.

"It's okay Ladybug. Sometimes when you're upset or scared, the brain thinks things that won't ever or couldn't ever happen. It's okay that you thought it. But do you understand why you need to talk to Mom or I about it?" Danny asked.

"Yeah." Grace's muffled voice mumbled.

"Good." Danny shifted his arm as Linda moved to hug Grace too. He held both his girls tight in his embrace. His heart tugged knowing that if they hadn't caught Grace in time, there's no telling how far she would have spun thinking she wasn't loved. Danny never wanted either of them to feel unloved. No matter what happened, Danny Reagan was committed to three things for his family. To make sure they felt safe, loved and protected. As long as his family was those three things, he could sleep at night. There was nothing Danny Reagan wouldn't do for his family. Their safety and comfort were of the utmost importance to him. And he intended to show that to Grace every way possible until she once again felt, safe, loved and protected.


	24. Chapter 24

As the fall passed Grace Reagan started to feel like her old self again. She talked to Dr. Kohler once every two weeks to have someone who wasn't family to talk to. She was able to talk about her fears without feeling bad or that someone would get upset. She was able to talk about how her parents made her feel and know that she didn't have to tell them if she didn't want to. Dr. Kohler helped Grace talk in a safe environment. Danny had a lot to talk about with Dr. Bennett about Grace seeing someone. With her help, Danny was able to put the worry behind him. She was able to show Danny that Grace being able to talk in a safe space was a good thing. Even if it made him uncomfortable to have someone else talking to his daughter and not know what was being said.

Christmas came with the family happily doting over Margaret who was due in the Spring. She and Jamie had decided upon their newest addition's name. The fact that they'd told the family they knew it but didn't give a hint was the topic of Sunday dinner. The two finally caved when Grace asked them if they'd tell her. Little Kelly Isabella Reagan was due at the beginning of next March. New Year's Eve fell on a Sunday with the family over for dinner before splitting off to their own homes to spend the holiday with their own smaller families. Danny and Linda were surprised when even Frank slipped out of the house with Garrett and Sid for the evening. With dinner cleaned up and kids asleep in bed, Linda and Danny finally found themselves alone. Linda was standing in the shower rinsing shampoo out of her hair when she felt Danny slid in behind her.

"Conserving water?" She grinned without turning around. She passed the bottle of conditioner over her shoulder. 

Danny pressed a light kiss to her shoulder, "You shouldn't stretch like that." Danny took the bottle from his wife. He squeezed a dollop onto his palm before threading his hands through her hair.

"Danny, the doctor said I'm okay. I can lift normally and I can resume all physical activities." Linda reminded him about her latest oncologist appointment just over a month ago.

Danny sighed, "But you were still told to be careful."

"And I've been very careful." Linda leaned back against her husband. She moaned softly as he scrubbed her head.

Danny carefully rinsed his wife's hair being sure not to catch his fingers, "I worry about you."

"I know you do. But I'm okay. I promise." Linda echoed words she'd heard from his lips many times over. She let her head fall back onto Danny's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her waist, gently pressing and kneading her soft stomach, "I almost thought I'd never get here." Linda confessed, "When they first told me the news. I almost never thought I'd make it to another year." Danny's arms instinctively tightened around Linda.

"You have no idea how much I think about that and how grateful I am that you're still here." Danny pressed his lips to her neck.

"Me too." Linda's voice cracked slightly. She wondered if Danny would be able to tell a few tears slid down her cheeks. The thought of not being here, not being with her husband and children. Not seeing their grandchildren grow up. She hated thinking about it. She'd come far too close with cancer.

Danny's mouth slowly moved from her neck to her shoulder, while his fingers spread across Linda's torso, "I love you." He said softly.

"I love you more." Linda smiled. She crossed her arms gripping Danny's forearms.

"I love you the most." Danny replied. He felt the water already start to cool. A sign that Linda had been in the shower since he tucked the kids into bed, "C'mon. Let's get you in something warm." Danny felt Linda's skin prickle with goosebumps.

"Since when do you want me to put clothes on?" Linda teased him.

"Since the kids just got over the flu and the water is cold. Neither one of us needs to get sick too." Danny reached around his wife to turn the tap off. He picked up a large fluffy towel hanging on the bar outside the shower wrapping Linda first before getting a towel for himself. Linda felt the blush creep up her cheeks as Danny subconsciously took care of her before taking care of himself. These were the little things Linda realized he did that made her fall in love with him all over again. He always put her before him. Linda dried off before tossing her towel in the laundry basket. She squeezed the water from her hair with a second towel before sauntering into their bedroom after grabbing her robe. Danny followed his wife, turning the bathroom light out behind him. He grinned seeing the look of surprise on his wife's face when she saw the bouquet of roses he'd placed by her bedside.

"Oh, Danny." Linda smiled wide. She walked over to the vase, "There's a card." She stated.

"Yes, there is." Danny smiled. He sat beside his wife on the bed.

Linda kissed his lips sweetly, "I love them. Thank you."

"Read the card." Danny prompted.

"Okay." Linda opened the red envelope. She was intrigued when a piece of lined paper fell out, not a small rectangular card she expected, "What is this?"

"Just read it." Danny slid an arm around Linda's waist while the other rested softly on her leg.

Linda opened the folded piece of paper, 

' **Dear Cancer,**

**Thank you for showing me what's important in life. For teaching me how incredibly strong my wife is. How she can and did handle everything you had to throw at her. Thank you for making sure I understood just how much hard work my wife puts into our family, into our children, into our marriage. Thank you for strengthening the love I have for my wife. For making the fear of losing her spike so dramatically, I felt as if it would become a reality I never want to live through. Cancer, you showed up and turned our lives upside down. But without you I wouldn't have seen my wife, my amazing, beautiful, wonderful, wife so strongly stand up and declare you wouldn't take her from her family. She refused to go with you, though you tried to pull her. You came crashing down upon her hoping to claim her as a victim and she fought back. Not only for herself or our children, she fought for me. I would have never seen the immense love she had for me if she didn't have to fight you. My wife is the most incredible person I know. And without her, I can't breathe. You proved to me that I can't survive without my wife. She is quite literally the other half of me. How does someone live with only half of themselves? How do they move on with their lives when their love is taken from them? Taken by you who slid through the night when no one was looking. You've taken my wife on a road to Hell and back. You've pulled her so far down I feared she would never be able to stand again. But she did. Over and over again. Nothing you did could keep her from coming back to her family. The love was too strong and you were too weak. You don't win this time. You don't get to take her. You don't get to tear our love apart. She's perfect and you're nothing short of pathetic. Attacking her so forcefully that you knocked her off her feet. But with the love and support of her family behind her and her own will to beat you she stood. Again and again, until this time it was you who fell. She defeated you. She made sure you would never hurt her again. But I want to thank you for showing me how amazingly perfect she is. Thank you for showcasing her love and strength as well as her beauty and grace. Without you, I might have missed these things. I might not have paid so much attention to our marriage, to the love of my life. I might have missed it. So thank you for showing up. It opened my eyes and made me fall even deeper in love with my wife. Something I didn't know was possible, yet am glad it happened. Should you ever return, you need to know you're not going to win. I know my wife and she will fight you with every breath, every ounce of strength, every breath in her lungs. And I will forever be by her side, prepared for battle against you. Thank you for showing me the important things, but you can go now.'**

Linda felt large fat tears trail down her cheeks, "Oh." Linda tried to speak but her words caught in her throat.

Danny pulled his wife into his arms as she sobbed. He rubbed her back in small circles, "Dr. Bennett said I was bottling a lot of things up. That writing them out might help. So, last week, that night I came home late. You were in bed and asleep already. I just started writing and this is what came out." Danny said, "And I wanted you to see it."

Linda cried with her head on his shoulder. He'd opened up to her in a way he'd never quite done in the thirty-plus years they'd been together. Never had she seen such raw emotion from her husband, "This is.." Linda was left speechless by him.

"I was terrified I was going to lose you." Danny confessed, "And through it all, you stayed stronger and more hopeful than I could have ever imagined." Danny said to her, "I'm so completely and wholly in awe of you."

"This is the most beautiful thing you've ever done." Linda sniffled. She pulled her head from his shoulder to look him in the eyes, "I love you so much."

"I love you." Danny placed a light kiss on Linda's lips.

Linda parted her lips darting her tongue out to trace her husband's lips. She sighed in content when she felt him open up to her. Linda slid her arms around his neck as she shifted to straddle his lap. She was so stunned by his letter she couldn't find the right words to say to him. But she knew the actions she could do to show how much she loved him. Danny's hands slid into her robe, resting on the small of her back. He carefully traced over the scars from gunshot wounds and the tattoo of his sheild. Linda's mouth traveled down Danny's jaw to his neck where she nipped lightly. Danny laid down on the bed pulling Linda on top of him before expertly flipping them over catching Linda off-guard. Danny hovered over his wife placing one knee on either side of her hip.

"God, you're gorgeous." He sighed heavily. Before Linda could remark back he caught her lips between his, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth. Danny pulled the belt to Linda's robe. Slowly the fabric slid off her body. Danny's eyes hungrily raked up and down her body. It had been a long time since they'd made love without the fear of hurting Linda. Danny shifted slightly dipping his head to her neck leaving behind a small mark in a spot Linda would have to cover to avoid curious glances at work and Sunday dinner. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he kissed down her collarbone stopping just above her breasts. Danny's tongue traced the noticeable scar on her body. He slowly, tentatively dragged his lips over the top of her breast. Linda didn't realize she'd held her breath. Danny had seen her breasts countless times since the surgery. He'd even touched them gently when he was helping her bandage them or take the bandages off. But this was different. This was a totally different experience for both of them. Linda swallowed the lump in her throat as Danny drew her nipple into his mouth. One hand of his cupped her other breast gently squeezing it.The fear of it hurting or feeling wrong in some way was obliterated as Danny slowly took his time. His tongue swirled around her nipple which to both of their surprise hardened quickly as if desperate for more contact. Curiously he swiped his tongue around a second time, this time sucking her nipple between his lips.

"Oh God." Linda released the breath she'd held while Danny explored her body.

Danny smirked against her skin, hearing the pleasure in her voice. He let his tongue drag across her chest to show the other half of her just as much attention. Danny's mouth traced over scars, tattoos, every imperfection in her skin. He was determined to show Linda that every word he'd written about her being strong and perfect was true. He wanted to not only let her know he  _thought_ she was perfect, he wanted to  _show_ her she was. Linda lay under her husband lost in the new sensations on her body. She was swimming in exstacy as Danny made his way down her body. Stopping to kiss every inch of her skin. He parted her legs before settling himself between them. Danny's lips left a trail of kisses from her knees to her thighs. Linda could feel herself getting wetter and wetter as Danny's mouth drew closer. The moment his tongue stroked her entrance she swore she stopped breathing. Danny's tongue pumped inside of his wife, circling around, pressing against her walls, searching for her high. Danny's fingers gripped Linda's thighs. When he'd lift them later he'd notice the small circular bruises beneath his fingertips. He heard Linda moan as he slid his tongue out in search of a small familiar nub. Linda was already teetering on the edge. He slipped two fingers effortlessly into his wife. Adding a third almost immediately. Linda was so slick Danny swore she was dripping already. A few well-timed flicks of his tongue and pumps with his fingers sent Linda careening off the edge. Danny's name dropped from her lips as her eyes rolled back. Danny carried on, pushing Linda through her orgasm straight to a second one. He didn't let up as he worked her over. The taste of his wife on his tounge made Danny hard as a rock. He felt himself poking the towel still wrapped around his waist. Danny felt Linda's walls pulsate around his fingers as he pumped in and out of her. He peppered kisses all over as he let Linda breathe again. Danny softly stroked her with his thumb. Pressing down every so often to keep her on her toes. His lips once again found her thigh. He kissed her milky skin sweetly before sinking his teeth in. He grinned hearing her moan his name. Danny broke the skin just enough to see a deep dark spot form the second he moved his mouth away. Danny yanked the towel away from his waist. He leaned over Linda, his mouth descending on her breast. Linda shifted slightly cupping Danny's face in her hands, pulling him to her lips. She kissed him slowly before maneuvering a leg over his waist. She grinned as she straddled her husband. Danny may have set out to make his wife feel incredible but Linda wasn't going to let the night continue without being sure she poured her heart and soul out as well.

Linda carefully studied her husband. The muscles that showed signs of age yet never stopped looking powerful. She traced up his biceps with her fingertips. She felt the small scars as she tripped over old wounds. Linda laid her hands flat on Danny's chest. She smiled as she stared at his body. Danny had always been good looking. When they were teenagers Linda felt amazed that such a cute boy like her and wanted to date her. When they got married she noticed the looks other women would give Danny. Even now, women tried to flirt their way out of trouble with him. He was always  _that_ good looking guy. That sexy cop. It used to make Linda jealous and uncomfortable. She still had her moments. But Danny only ever had eyes for his wife. Sometimes she didn't know what he saw in her but in him, she saw the most attractive person in the world. Here he lay beneath her. Her name on his lips. His hands running up and down her sides, resting on her hips before slowly moving again. Linda traced the faint scars on his body knowing that any of them could have been the end of her husband. She pressed kisses to the larger ones. The ones that reminded her of times when she almost lost him. She let her mouth linger over his heart pouring all her love into making him feel good. Linda made her way down his strong chest to his abs. She recalled when he once had a flatter stomach. Abs that went on for days from all the sit-ups he'd do at the gym. Now at forty-eight, his stomach was a little softer and fuller. His once sculpted body still in shape but not quite as chiseled as it once was. Linda wouldn't have it any other way. His stomach became a soft place for her to rest her head while they curled up to watch TV. A place she could press an infinite number of kisses too. A place that reminded her that while they grew older they only grew closer together. Linda traced over her name painted on his skin for eternity. Her tongue followed the curved lines on his skin. She heard him breathing harder above her as her breast brushed against him. She smirked against his skin. Linda shifted her position so Danny would slide between her breasts as she slowly made her way down his body. She placed her hand at his base gently squeezing him. If Danny was a betting man he'd have sworn she was trying to kill him. He felt like he was ready to explode. Linda crept down her husband's body purposely avoiding the one area he was begging for more contact. She kissed his strong powerful thighs as her hand slid up and down him. Danny dribbled down himself allowing Linda to use her husband as lubricant as she explored his legs. Linda smiled. She could feel Danny straining in her hand. She could feel how she was driving him out of his mind. She finally gave in when her name on his lips turned into nothing but moaning. Linda pressed a small kiss on the head before relaxing her jaw. She slipped Danny into her mouth. Her tongue quickly swirling around, over the head and down as she worked him into her mouth. Linda could feel the heat radiating off her husband as she pushed herself to take all of him. Linda didn't stop when Danny hit the back of her throat. She opened wider until her nose hit his abdomen. Linda sucked gently as she cupped him. She bobbed her head up and down applying varying pressure with her tongue. With one squeeze and the tip of her tongue swiping the tip of her husband Danny's eyes rolled to the back of his head. He growled as he shot down his wife's throat. Linda sucked until she was sure there wasn't anything left. She pressed kisses all around Danny as she continued to stroke him. Linda brought up her knees to the sides of her husband's waist. She pressed a kiss to his chest above his heart before positioning herself above him. Linda lowered herself down sliding Danny into her until they were one.

Danny's hands flew to Linda's sides to keep her steady as she moved on top of him. Danny watched as Linda slid one of her own hands between her legs. He breasts bounced up and down as Linda rode her husband. Danny knew that try as she might Linda wouldn't be able to finish in this position. He wrapped one leg around her waist, hooking it on the small of her back. The other snaked it's way around her torso pulling her close. Danny rolled Linda underneath him carefully so as not to slip out of her. Danny pulled her legs up flinging one over his shoulder. He knew his wife's body inside and out. As much as they'd experimented they always ended up with Linda on her back and Danny pumping into her. It was the one fail-proof position for them. Not only did Linda find it most comfortable, Danny did as well. Sometime about holding her so possessively.beneath him set off a primal instinct in his body. The closeness of the two of them. How he could kiss her lips and ride through their orgasm together. Linda had once mentioned how safe she felt with Danny on top of her. Which she knew sounded odd but she swore that's how she felt. She knew that even while making love he was there to protect her. To keep her safe. To put her first and show her love. By pulling her leg over his shoulder she knew he was making sure she was comfortable. He knew she could feel him deep inside her with the angle shift.

Danny slammed in and out of his wife. His hips snapping back and forth. He braced himself on his forearms on either side of her head. Linda felt herself get closer and closer only to have it ebb away. She moaned softly when she felt Danny's fingers between them. He rolled the small nub on her body between his thumb and forefinger. His mouth took her breast in his as he hammered harder and harder into Linda. He was so close to the edge. He felt it circling inside him threatening to explode at any moment. Danny slammed into Linda with enough force their headboard batted against the wall. Danny leaned closer to Linda as one hand carded through her hair keeping her head from hitting the headboard. Danny pulled off Linda's breast shoving his tongue into her open mouth. It was the only thing Linda needed to fall. She felt her body tense up before every nerve in her system tingled. She squeezed around Danny trapping him inside her. She felt hot liquid seep out of her, around Danny, and onto their sheets. Her whole body shook making her feel like she was falling apart. She clung do Danny as she rode through her orgasm. Danny swallowed Linda's scream as her world shook. Danny's name was the only thought that crossed Linda's mind. Danny could barely contain himself. With a few more hard thrusts Danny felt himself rip open inside his wife. He dropped his head on the pillow beside his wife, her name tripping from his mouth, into her ear. Danny's grip on his wife tightened pinning her beneath him while he filled her. Linda could feel Danny shooting into her. The heat from her husband sending shivers up her spine. She slowly ran her hand up and down his spine as he half-grunted, half-mumbled, in her ear. Danny breathed hard as Linda's body instinctively milked him until he was empty. Her body pulsating around him. Danny caught his breath for a moment trying to keep most of his weight off Linda. He wrapped his wife in his arms before shifting both of them so they lay, still connected but with Linda's body on top of his. Her head on his chest listening to his heart hammering beneath his rib cage.

Danny ran his fingers through her hair as she tried to catch her breath. Linda closed her eyes for a moment knowing they had to clean up before falling asleep. When they didn't have kids they could leave the bed a mess but now with kids who wanted to climb into bed because they saw a scary monster or had a tummy ache she knew they would have to change the sheets. Linda could still feel herself dribbling down her legs, onto Danny, then the bed. She shivered from the cool air on her back. Danny pulled the blanket up over the two of them without so much as a word exchanged. He pulled it tight around Linda being sure she was warm. Danny pressed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"I should move." Linda said regretting the fact that she knew she couldn't sleep on top of her husband for the night.

"Probably." Danny agreed.

"I'm not really sure if I can." Linda admitted. Her body was sore and she was spent.

Danny smirked, "Then don't. Not yet anyway." 

"What if one of the kids gets up?" Linda sighed.

"One more minute." Danny looked at the time on his phone. He laughed softly.

"What's so funny?" Linda rested her chin on his chest.

"Happy New Year Babe." Danny turned his phone to show Linda the time. It was six minutes past midnight. They'd missed their traditional New Year's Eve kiss. Though, Linda was sure this way was much better.

"Happy New Year." Linda reached up to kiss her husband sweetly, "I love you." She sighed softly.

"I love you more." Danny grinned.

"I love you the most." Linda replied before kissing him once again. Linda gasped as Danny flipped them back over gearing up for a second round when a thought crossed her mind. She almost wasn't here. This day almost never happened. This could have been her last year. It was almost the end. But today was the beginning of a new year. Time was precious and could be taken away in an instant. With the trials they'd been through, Kathleen finding out her past was a lie, Linda's cancer, Grace going through such horrific trauma. They needed a fresh start. This wasn't the end. This was the beginning. The beginning of better for the Reagan family. Better times, better days, better health, just better. Linda vowed as her husband kissed her slowly to do everything in her power to make each day better for her family. One by one. And right now she was going to start with her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. That's it for this one. Hope you enjoyed the last chapter and I'm planning on starting the next story later this week. :) Hope you all liked this one! It took longer than expected to write because the holidays really messed me up but I'm so glad you stuck with me! Thanks! :)


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